I have vivid dreams. The type that you feel completely. Sometimes it’s wonderful and others it’s exhausting.
Last night (or this morning) was one of the latter.
I dreamt that everyone I knew and cared about had turned against me. People hated me for a reason I couldn’t figure out. I begged for answers that were denied to me. It was awful and then it got worse... I found myself moping around what seemed to be a high school. As I gratefully wandered alone, I heard the familiar sound of shoes squeaking on a gym floor. I could hear play calls and cheering. It was volleyball. 😌 I looked up and thought to myself, “thank God this dream is turning around.”
I walked into the gym and I could almost hear angels singing. And even better, a team was looking for an extra player! Put me in coach! 🙋🏼♀️ I asked to play and for just a minute or two to warm up and the team happily obliged. I found a ball, a wall and a newfound smile... but surprise! ..it was as if my body had forgotten how to play. Sets were more like pokes, I couldn’t make contact if I attempted to swing and all I seemed capable of was shanking a pass. *cringe*
My stubborn heart and I stepped out on the court to test out the old approach and it was like sixth grade recreation all over again.
I had no words. But lucky for them, their sixth player showed up and I was relieved (f’ing Jessica 🙄). I walked off of the court and I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
I saw some doors leading outside and at that point I was hoping they would also lead to a deep, dark hole. 🙈
Not a hole, invisibility cloak or my mommy was there to save me from my shame.. but of course, it was pouring down rain. ———
It was at that point that I just decided to wake up. I’ve had enough of you, subconscious! ———
I woke up to a message, as I do every morning, from the man in this photo and I forgot about even being capable of such an exhausting dream. Everyday, in different ways, he is so selflessly good that it’s nearly impossible to comprehend the bad.
You really are the best thing, A Fins.
#dibs #fudream #andscene