I remember getting so scared to cold approach beautiful women in public, especially when she is surrounded by her 10 male friends who all seemed charming, wealthy, powerful and handsome. I was so petrified and anxious that I would not even go for it. I seeked out solutions for what possible baggage or blockages that I might have that's holding me back from talking to these beautiful women. Perhaps it was from past trauma or something. I stuffed my face with various psychedelics like weed, shrooms, acid, and ayahuasca to dive deep into the subconscious and figure this out to the core...All those things worked temporarily until I was back to where I was again as soon as the spell of the devil's lettuce wore off. I can see why they called weed the devil's lettuce...Whenever you're high, you feel like it just makes sense to be this way all the time. That this is what it feels like to be 'normal'. But you know deep down, it's fleeting and you have to take another hit again to feel 'normal'. Soon you are totally convinced that it's the only way to live and you start bringing others into it. Then I came to realization, that being God isn't something you actualize by getting high, or intelligently conceptualize. It's beyond anything you can put into words which include thoughts and emotions...In fact, the moment you start to attempt to put it into words, is the moment you fall back asleep just like how the moment you start using words to be with a woman or the moment you stop being high is the moment you go back to being a little bitch.