manolomummy manolomummy

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Lindsay  Irish. Fell from Prada to Pampers circa 2009. One third of @parentially. Writer. I can say that now...kinda. Columnist for The Irish Examiner.

Bed head Bryn.

Old life vs new life. A few days ago, I sat in a hotel surrounded by hot deskers & suited busy businessmen. All very busy, you understand. So to say I copped a few glances when strolling in sporting jeans, trainers & a Mark Zuckerberg-esque grey t-shirt, is understandable. I felt like saying, 'Fret not lads, I too am here for a very busy business meeting'. Old life would have felt maybe a teeny bit on edge if I hadn't the suitable armour of choice before attempting to breach the moat; new life doesn't feel the need to prove anything, take me as I am yet not afraid to hear the word 'no'. In this case, it was a 'yes'. I officially now join the ranks of 'freelance'. I feel fortunate to have had a career which allowed me financially to get my ducks in a row (mortgage, pension, healthcare etc) but the flip side is the urgency I now feel due to starting this scribbling lark relatively late in the game. Month 5 of 'the year I have to get my shit together' & I'm not going to lie, it's been slow; but I can take slow if it guarantees me longevity. I had high hopes of it all being like Lois Lane's office, people furiously punching keys on typewriters, paper flying everywhere, men with loosened ties & unbuttoned waistcoats, women with pencils tucked behind their ears whilst tapping their sources for more info but alas, the reality is more hotels, flat whites & email. Nevertheless, I did feel very Zuckerberg when leaving. Minus his squillons but feeling pretty good nonetheless. Onward.

Can't say 'no' to a good looking bird!

Ring, ring...
Olivia Palermo: 'Babe! Erh mah gawd, I'm just sooooo over people copying my style. I mean, be true to your authentic self ya know? Be reeeealll. Like, I totally wore a pair of trainers & every basic bitch on the streeeet has them now. Ugggggh.
Me: Olivia, hunay. What have I told you about the excessive phone calls?
Olivia: I know, I know! 'That it's not conducive to us developing a healthy & understanding friendship'. I just really needed to vent, ya know?!!.
Me: This really needs to stop Olivia. I can't constantly reassure you on every single facet of your life. And I think you'll find that I had those trainers first so by definition, that makes you a 'basic bitch' also!
*I totally didn't have the trainers first but she is suffering from a severe case of notions lately so thought it best to clip her wings slightly. So needy 🙄

'Hey, I dunno 'bout you but I'm NOT feeling 22!'.
This week marked a turning point. Normally when I purchase some hooch, the checkout assistant & I have some coy banter when he/she will ask 'And are you over 18?' with a cheeky wink for good measure. In turn, I will deploy some fake modesty & pretend to shoo them away with a coquettish 'Oh you!'. Until the other day; when he just scanned the booze through & without making eye contact asked 'do you have a loyalty card?'.
Add to this, that at 8am I just witnessed my eldest child devouring a cupcake whilst simultaneously gagging because he detests buttercream; bite, gag, swallow, bite, gag, swallow etc. But, I didn't raise no quitter, nah ah honey! Finish it, he did.

He just saw his first episode of 'Extreme Couponing'. #woodyisms

'Bastian...CALL MY NAME!'.
Woody's response; 'What?!'. 🙄

'Ah here Woody, the WHITE tray! Not the brown one! No-one wants to be affronted with a messy breakfast tray on the gram of a Sunday morn. Are you still a bit drunk?!! WOODEY?!! WOOOODDDEY?! Grab the plant from the bathroom on your way back aswell will you, my little tinklebun?!'.

Because;
A) I want this at the top of my feed. Again.
B) May the 4th be with you.

Forever a whore for gingham.

'The best day of the week was when I learned about electricity. But, today might be good'. Bryn is heading to the Family Day that the newly opened beautiful @salingerslittle is throwing today in the premises of their first born @salingers_cork between 12-3pm today. Your thoughts for the face painter who has to tackle Bryn's face would be appreciated.

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