This isn’t my usual style of post, so warning in advance this might be a more upsetting read than normal.... I also must confess I have have tears streaming down my face as I type this... Some of you may know that for the past 5 months I have been pregnant with my first baby. This was news that came as a complete and unexpected surprise.
Once the initial shock had worn off my boyfriend and I were buzzing
I don’t think I have ever felt so excited about anything in my entire life... I hadn’t realised how much I wanted to be a mummy .. cuddling, feeding, group hugs... my boyfriend and I daydreamed endlessly about our new future and the family we were about to create.
Over time we slowly yet excitedly shared the news with friends and family and began planning our new future, then last week at our 5 month scan in one instant all our hopes and dreams were shattered.
When the consultants began whispering we feared the news wasn’t good ... however I don’t think we could ever have been prepared for the shock of what we were hearing......my blood flow via the placenta wasn’t strong enough to keep our baby alive, she was simply too small to survive.
I am sad to say I am experiencing a pain and loss that is unimaginable. it literally felt like we had been punched.
I don’t yet know the reason why the universe has thrown this at me ... in moments of positivity I reflect on the incredible bond that I share with my boyfriend I am also so grateful for the love and support from all my amazing friends in these dark times...but my grief is overwhelming....grieving for what I imagined my future was going to be can be too much to bare
I am so appreciative of the love and support from my insta family but I am going through a moment in my life where I will lap up any spare love and healing you lot might want to send in my direction... thanks for reading , lots of love Semra xxx
PS I’ll probably be a little quiet on here for a while... but my trusted assistant Danielle will be taking care of all things mama moon until I’m back on my feet. ❤️❤️❤️