1 year ago: Over the last couple of years, I had tried to be friends with a couple guys I interacted with regularly. One was a coworker. The other lived in the same building. They weren't bad people, however they found it entertaining to degrade me. One of them told everyone everywhere we went that I'm a lesbian... When I'm not. And when I would say otherwise, he would say that how I dress, how I dye my hair, how I just look overall makes me a lesbian. They told me I was fat and stupid. That I should stop eating so much. That I'll never understand anything because my brain is too small. They had said many other things over that time. Some days I cried after seeing them. Some days I actually believed them. And those were the days I hated myself the most.
Over this last year, I've cut them out. They reach out from time to time, but I don't want that kind of negativity in my life. No one should have to hear any of that on a regular basis. While one is a recovering alcoholic and the other says the army made him that way, I prefer to take care of my emotional and mental wellbeing first. And there is nothing wrong with that.
So to those who deal with abuse of any kind, there is no excuse they can give that gives them the right to make you feel less than human. Walk away. You are worth so much more than their excuses.
#writer #writing #selflove #walkaway #loveyourself #madalynbeck