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madalyn_beck madalyn_beck

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Madalyn Beck  Fall in love with your madness. He is my refuge and strength. New book: The Last I Love You AVAILABLE NOW Personal: @beyondbeck

http://amzn.to/2mbXyq5

Do not fear love, embrace it. 💙

True friends stay. True friends love. True friends forgive. 💙

Happiness was supposed to come easily and be effortless. But the older I get the more I find that I have to create my own positive environment. I have to be a light to feel the warmth. I have to love first to feel my heart. I have to give before I can receive. So here is my smile, and I hope it awakens your soul. I hope it gives you a reason to keep on even when you feel like letting go. I hope you realize with this that love doesn't find you, you create it by believing there is color in all the gray; that there is dimension in all the haze.

#poem #poet #prose #words #wordporn #wordswithqueens #instagood #instapoet #lovequotes #happiness #positivevibes #goodvibes #bethechange #inspiration #motivation #spreadthelove #hurrytobekind #spilledink #poetrycommunity #creativewriting #milwaukee #wisconsin #madalynbeck

It was another 3 am night
sitting by your window waiting
on your reluctant return.
And it was that evening
of you and your friends
splashing in your hot tub of secrets
that I overheard of how you saw her again.
How you kissed her
and kissed her
and kissed her
until someone had to remind you of me -
that I was waiting in your bedroom fast asleep.
I sat there listening
and these foolish bones wanted to stay,
but my heart was desperately climbing up my ribcage,
cramming in my throat,
begging me to let it out.

But I just sat and listened
to you laugh at the way
you were both playing me.
She knew that I was in your bed that night.
She knew that for the last few years
I was the one who stood by your side.
She knew and still she lured you in,
and kissed you
and kissed you
and kissed you
until you couldn’t remember I existed.
And I guess I’m the one who missed it,
the moment you slipped away.
But I stayed and I listened to it all,
choking on my love
while you laughed yours off.

And that was the night I decided to leave,
even if my feet weren’t yet willing.

#thelastiloveyou #poem #poet #prose #longformfriday #heartbreak #cheating #cheaters #breakup #brokenheart #spilledink #poetryisnotdead #poetrycommunity #creativewriting #milwaukee #wisconsin #madalynbeck

1 year ago: Over the last couple of years, I had tried to be friends with a couple guys I interacted with regularly. One was a coworker. The other lived in the same building. They weren't bad people, however they found it entertaining to degrade me. One of them told everyone everywhere we went that I'm a lesbian... When I'm not. And when I would say otherwise, he would say that how I dress, how I dye my hair, how I just look overall makes me a lesbian. They told me I was fat and stupid. That I should stop eating so much. That I'll never understand anything because my brain is too small. They had said many other things over that time. Some days I cried after seeing them. Some days I actually believed them. And those were the days I hated myself the most.

Over this last year, I've cut them out. They reach out from time to time, but I don't want that kind of negativity in my life. No one should have to hear any of that on a regular basis. While one is a recovering alcoholic and the other says the army made him that way, I prefer to take care of my emotional and mental wellbeing first. And there is nothing wrong with that.

So to those who deal with abuse of any kind, there is no excuse they can give that gives them the right to make you feel less than human. Walk away. You are worth so much more than their excuses.

#writer #writing #selflove #walkaway #loveyourself #madalynbeck

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