lysslady lysslady

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alyssa 🌙  Mental Health Activist 🌿 Fainty Girl and Disability Warrior💪 Self Love 💜 #boringactsofrecovery Owner of @thepearlandpetal

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Happy Friday to all my trans babes out there 🦖🧡

I am terrible at making plans with friends. I will freely admit that.
My intentions are always good. I WANT to visit with my people, because I have the best people out there and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but things (ie health) become overwhelming and I am forced to choose between myself or them.

The guilt that comes with that is huge. Like I said, I am blessed with the most amazing people in the world who just GET me and understand how difficult managing my conditions can be, yet that doesn’t change the sadness I feel when I have to cancel or the anxiety I feel when I’ve said I’ll be visiting soon and soon turns into months (or longer since my friends and I don’t exactly live close). My insecurities pop up. Those nasty, untrue thoughts that say “you’re letting them down”, “they think you’re faking it”, “they’re going to stop caring about you”, “you’re not worth the wait”. And it doesn’t matter how much the healthy side of my brain argues against it, it doesn’t matter how often I am reassured that they will always be there for me, I still feel like I’m a terrible friend who doesn’t do enough.

I’m saying all of this for two reasons. The first is for my own peace of mind – friends, lady loves, ladyhoes and manbunny (y’all know who you are), I’m sorry that I can’t be there more. I’m sorry that I’m not always around or that I cancel all the time. It’s not you. It’s not because I don’t care. I do. Very much. I need you to know that (even though I know you already do). The second is to show just how irrational and mean mental illness can be, and how those thoughts that run through your head run through mine too. And hers. And his. And theirs. These thoughts are so damn common yet are kept so tightly to ourselves because of the shame.

I don’t want to feel shame. I don’t want to feel guilty. I don’t want to feel alone. Because I know I’m not. I’m saying it here and I’ll keep saying it until I believe it. Will you join me?

Squish squish bish ☀️
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[image description: Alyssa sitting on the grass in the sun with a small garden behind her. She’s wearing a one-piece green floral swimsuit with cutouts on the sides and is looking happily down at her body]
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#yourbodyisnottheenemy #yourbodyyourbusiness #embracethesquish #effyourbeautystandards #allbodiesaregoodbodies #riotsnotdiets #nonairbrushedme #nam #rollingwithmyhomies #aeriereal #selfcare #dietculturedropout

A simple #boringactsofrecovery for today, but a good one.

Having a bad day? Week? Month? Don’t keep it to yourself. Reach out to your friends or the people in your life and let them know. Tell them it’s been tough and that you’re exhausted. Ask for a hug, or some love, or just a little reassurance that things will get better. I guarantee it’ll help waaaay more than just keeping it to yourself and letting it build up.

I struggle with this a lot. Most of the time because I have difficulty expressing how I’m feeling in actual words. But what I’ve learned, and was reminded of last night, is that something as simple as saying “I had a tough day” is enough. No need for lengthy discussions about it (unless you want to, that is), just to the point. You’ll be surprised how much the people you love will rally around you. Because they love you too.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
#boringactsofrecovery #healing #struggling #thestruggleisreal #friendsarefamily #youareloved #youareworthy #youdeservehappiness #expressyourself #selfcare #reachout #hadabadday #schma

No cottage for me ‘cause of the ole faints 😕
This brightened my day. Hope it brightens yours too 🐶

Cottage weekend ready 🌊☀️
Bring on the sunshine and BBQ!
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What are your essentials for a relaxing weekend outside? Mine are a good book, hot pair of shades, and my fave cap from @etherealandco (cause y’all know I’m a pale, pale lady and I need that sun protection). Get yours with Alyssa10 for a discount 🧢
See you on Monday!

#tbt

This post goes out to that rad little girl who doesn’t see how great she actually is. Who doesn’t see how smart, funny, weird, kind, and determined she is, and how all of that matters waaaaay more than anything else.

Life doesn’t come easy. Not for anyone, but sometimes especially for her. There are trials she’ll have to go through, more than she even knows, but despite it all they actually make her stronger. And they make her see those things about herself that seem invisible.

Now, and then, she is worthy, she is loved, and she has more to give than she thinks. She is a queen, a Golden Girl, a boss babe, the Earth Mother, an electric lady, and herself.

It may take her nearly twenty years to see it, but when she does, ain’t nobody going to tell her otherwise.

#RealChallengeRealChange #EmbraceTheRealHer

Happy Wednesday!

Let’s start the day off with some positivity ✨I want everyone to comment below with at least one thing they like/love/admire about themselves.

I’ll start. I like my creativity and the way I use that to show how I care about people 🖤

You’re turn…

#positivitytrain #positivevibes #selflove

My #boringactsofrecovery is a little different today 🥄🔋
Instead of sharing what I’m doing, I’d like to educate on what it’s like living with a chronic illness, disability, and/or mental illness thanks to this handy guide from @thegrouchyspoon.

Living with any physical or mental health issue is incredibly draining. While those of us with these diagnoses can and do have happy, fulfilling lives, our way of achieving that is different from those without. We have to be more careful with how we spend our time because it is so easy to use up the little energy we have. Often that means having to prioritize necessities over fun stuff and sadly that’s not something everyone understands.

I hope this helps those who don’t have the personal experience to gain a better empathy towards those that do. And I hope it helps those who do know, on a very real level, how difficult it is to navigate this life to feel like they are as valid and worthy and anyone else.

It's #WorldSuicidePreventionDay

To those who are struggling, who are feeling lost, scared, tired, and alone, we are with you. We see your pain and know how real it is.

But you are loved, you are worthy, and you belong here. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. YOU BELONG HERE.

This is my hand. I am giving it to you. Please take it.
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If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or need someone to talk to, please reach out.

Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566
US National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Or contact your local emergency services.

#worldsuicidepreventionday #savealife #sharetheinformation #youarenotalone #youareloved #youarevalid #youareworthy #suicideprevention [image description: a hand reaching out, palm up, on an off-white background. You can see 3/4s of the forearm, wearing a white and light grey striped shirt]

Leaving you this weekend with some wise words.
#kindnessalways 💕

Sharing this experience because 1. I think it’s something a lot of people will relate to, and 2. because as much progress as I’ve made with my body confidence, there are still things that are going to trigger negativity AND THAT’S OKAY.
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I’ve gained some weight recently. I don’t know how much. The number is irrelevant.
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What this means is that a lot of my staple clothing pieces don’t fit anymore, particularly my fall jeans. So I decided, no big deal, I’ll buy some new ones, same store, same style, in the next size up. Cue them coming in the mail, me trying them on, and of course not fitting. Now, I’ll be honest with you, that put a HUGE damper on my day. My brain spiralled out into the old negative body feelings and eating disorder habits. I need to diet, I need to exercise like crazy, how did this happen, I am a horrible person, I am ugly, I am worthless.
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All of that over jeans. I spent a day or two sulking and then I pulled myself up, remembered that clothes are just clothes, size doesn’t matter, and then ordered some more in a bigger size. Those ones also came in, and all but one didn’t fit.
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I need to diet, I need to exercise like crazy, how did this happen, I am a horrible person, I am ugly, I am worthless.
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Fatphobia isn’t just a word we throw around because it’s the trendy social justice topic of the month. It’s a damn disease. It can take you from feeling wonderful about yourself to needing to hide away. It can make you go from acceptance and kindness to hatred and despair. It can turn you into a hypocrite, celebrating all bodies one minute and then condemning your own the next. All in the blink of an eye.
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The things we tell ourselves that bring us down, the abuse we hurl at our vulnerable bodies, those are all a product of this disease. They’re not real. They’re not true. I am not ugly because I can’t fit into some pants. You are not worthless because your body doesn’t fit into small-minded stereotypes of how we should all look.
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It’s okay if you’re not there yet. I clearly am not. Doesn’t make your effort any less worth it. And it doesn’t mean you won’t get there eventually. We’ll do it together.

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