One of the many reasons I am grateful for my hoop is that it has become an outlet for me to express my sensuality/sexuality. As a woman, I've never been encouraged to have sexual thoughts or feelings, let alone express these thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. I have noticed especially as I have grown older that I am more outwardly sexual than most women, and for many years I was ashamed of this. Instead of dealing with these feelings, I internalized what society had taught me about a woman's sexuality and I engaged in unhealthy behavior that left me feeling empty and worthless and negatively affected my mind, body, and soul.
I am happy to say that I am no longer ashamed of my sexuality. It is a part of the human experience. When I tap into this sensual energy inside me and let it flow through dance, I feel strong. I feel beautiful. I feel connected. I feel powerful. I'm sure many will never see this as anything but slutty or self-absorbed and I'm ok with that. I realize now that is is just a projection of the cultural standard that shames women for having natural human experiences. I cannot help what others will think of me. But I see myself clearly. And no one will ever take that away from me.