So here’s a thing, a very real thing. I’m feeling a bit burnt out. I don’t like to talk about this because it makes me feel vulnerable. I feel that admitting this shows a weakness, a chink in my armour, that strangers who enjoy being negative online will take advantage of. I know 99% of you are amazing and that’s why 99% of my attention is with you, but some aren’t and they say I’m a shoddy mum who does nothing all day. Sigh.
This job is a special one, a privileged one but a big one. A LOT happens behind the scenes, so much love and care is poured in and I take great pride in making everything what it is.
Pearl was born Sunday 14th of Jan and on Monday 15th I put on my makeup, picked up my camera and started again.
Everyone told me to take time off and I ignored them. I wanted to be the woman that CAN. I wanted to show everyone I’m not lazy, I’m a hard trier, I am good enough (yes hello severe childhood issues from a Father who regularly told me I was lazy and didn’t try hard enough- he even made up a character called Mr Slop who used to ‘visit’, aka I’d been lazy again. 😶).
This is such an essay. I’m sorry.
This weekend I felt very overwhelmed. I was horrible to Liam, I wasn’t a present mother and I just cried and cried.
I need a break or a slower pace of life. I’m scared to say it in case you all think I do nothing and that by asking for a break I’m lazy. I have issues.
So, I have. I’m blocking Tuesdays fully off. I edit on Sat and upload/read/reply comments on Sunday so I need a day being just mummy. Currently I’m watching tv, playing with Pearl and musing through Instagram. It’s bliss. I’m also shutting my laptop at 6pm everyday, making more time for friends and leisure and upping my B6 levels. I feel really positive about it.
There might be some changes next year and I want you to be ok with them. I’m going to evolve the Weekly and I’m also going to take some time offline to write my new book. We’ll discuss all that later.
For now though. Slooowwwww.
Do you ever feel rushed/overwhelmed/stuck on the wheel? How do you help yourself get off? Hope this has been helpful to anyone like me/you actually managed to read through this brain dump! Xxxx