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lobster_kr lobster_kr

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Lobster (Jَaَaَنا)  Every Word is my Beloved. She is a butterfly inside my Heart. http://www.blurb.com/bookshare/app/index.html?bookId=7377064📝📷

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I do not know what am I doing to myself. Sometime it feels like that I have lost all my hope in life and gradually I am punishing myself with this slow poison, lamenting myself of things I did not do. Is this life worth living and loving anyone. Once, after all doomed experiences I found hope. I found a ray of light to believe love once more, and again once more but the sorrows of it is eating me deep. The blames totally falls on me that when the time was there why didn't I listen to things that were pointing otherwise. Why I always felt, for love, one more risk and if it comes good it will be worth the pain and risks. Human desire of wanting that love you loved is immense and sometime it blinds us all. I hope before I die, I have the honest answers of all what has happened. I can't take this from people that 'I never intended to do it,' while doing it not once but many a times. I feel sucked up within myself.
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Kabhi kabhi raato'n ko seene mein ek shadeed dard hota hai. Us waqt samajh nahi'n aata ki main kya karu. Chhato'n par baithne ki shayad aadat bana li hai maine. Raat ke 2-2 baje tak yu' hi cigarette aur khayaal ke dhuyei'n mein zindagi ko jaise udaaye jaa raha hu main aur kuch samajh nahi'n aata. Ek pal ko sochta hu 'Kabhi mere saath mean na hone ki baat bhi kabhi kabhi mean lagne lagti hai. Khud ko samjhaata hu... yaqeen dilaata hu un lafzo'n par... Aur sochta hu ki main kaun hu...kisi ki baat ko sach aur jhooth kehne wala. Main bas tajurba ban kar chal raha hu.
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I admired this letter more than anything. But after 4 years of receiving it I am troubled to find a single line relevant to what you had done.
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You aren't my love interest nor am going to marry you.. But still I do have feelings for you which are beyond every worldly affair. Earlier I used to think being loved by someone is out of the word but now at this point of time when I have attained such a life experience and age maturity my point of view towards life and love is changed. Now I think being loved is not a big deal.. Big deal is to be someone's admiration who is really impressed by you. I want to be someone's admiration, inspiration and yes aspiration too. It's very easy to be a love interest but very difficult to be a life's interest. I got inclined towards you not coz I loved you.. It's coz I can see my inner self my actual basic self in you.. I can relate myself to the way you write, the way you express yourself and see things differently.

We are friendlier and more likely to incline to people who resemble us in one or the other way. And people who compliment us are hard to find. That's why I never sound mean and can't afford to be mean in our case.. Because whenever a person in the relationship feels that the personal costs of being in the relationship outweigh the rewards there is a strong chance that he/she will end the relationship. We tend to stick with people who are similar to us coz they will allow us to 'be yourself'. People consider Unconditional relationship as an illogical notion hard to compete with but still for me it's great and powerful. And as far our relationship is concerned.. It doesn't need promises and vows, terms and conditions. It simply needs You and Me! Rest.. Things happen because they are destined to and things will happen when they are destined to. ..
#letters #oldletters #mean #meanness #love #loveletters

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You get one life to live and even this one life is spend in fooling people who loved you then what good your life is? Neither, this world not that world could ever be a place to give you inner peace or salvation. You may find a little happiness in doing so. Maybe your ego can inflate with the idea that you deceived some guy/girl. But my dear, it is specifically in this world, it comes back even if it happened before, might take some time but when it comes back to catch you there won't be any respite. Seek your answer from self. Ask, what you have done. If you can't be of your words, what you can ever be?! The issues of the past if did not went away in 13 years time, you cannot think of it going away when you had been wrong to everyone you ever encountered. Good Luck.
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Sometime you cannot do anything but burn yourself inside and wonder that did they really were in love with you or you were simply a need, a want just to provide a little entertainment of their whims and fancies when they were tired in their lives. Then, you look at it other way round, how people can be so unabashedly blow faith and trust and put life's under risk and threats. Don't they ever thought like them others do have parents? Aren't these parents, your are mine have similar feelings for their children? Then why someone people hate other's parent for the same thing they love their parents for?! I think under coughing mouth, and with a bleeding heart. I am not sad, I am furious. How so easily they overlook their parent's pain when they are in pain and when it subsides then they begin to think about them while in doing so they have already pulled and put someone into an unimaginable pain. Don't they ever think that what pain them, pains others too. Why to put someone into something for which they had been crying and swearing that their prime of life was snatched because someone did not respect their feeling or made them look like secondary. I never devalued love but people forget that by bringing pain to someone from whom they were always seeking love for themselves blatantly devalued their feelings as if it means nothing.
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#fucklife #shiteverywhere #anguish #pain #hurt

Eyes get tired and the ache blows your heart. Sometime it feels like heart attack and other times it is just another kind of pain. Only thing that could ever pain anyone is when you are asked to believe, you are reluctant, with a lot of convincing reasons and then people break it as if it is not a big deal it hurts. For no good of yours you have told the problems we could face so that later no one can say that they did not know yet people never think once about the consequences. If you are in a mess, it should be your conscience which should stop you for not creating a similar mess in someone else's life when they are neither aware nor have come by their own. What if everything so unabashedly you do or did has been done to you?! ———————

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Today, this page completes a year. I am here to wish you Happy Birthday. As you turn 33, I wish you a lot of more such moments of celebration. A year ago, I was filled with excitement, for you have declared our life together. The time were happiest. Sometime, getting things we desire makes us just too happy but sometime when you get it you lose the desire. Maybe, I am not that desirable. But, I wish that you always be desirable, happy, and filled with every kind of luxuries you desire. May God bestow his finest blessings upon you. Happy Birthday!
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Some people would love you now, with the current events happening in their lives.
They would risk anything to be with you at the moment. They would want to see you daily.
But once the phase is gone. You're gone too.
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#quotes #quoteoftheday #words #wordgasm #like4like #likeforlike #wordporn #instagrammer

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When I met you for the first time, after that it was so easy to love you. You were so drunk in the idea of love that you cared less of the time to come but more to the time that was there. You were God Damn so easy to love that often I would feel, why it took so much time to finally arrive in your arms. And then, as if, suddenly splinters were thrown. Slowly and gradually, everything began to go harder. The most romantic lines ever spoken for love either look mundane or lost its strength to reach to your heart. The emotions which felt so valuable, felt desire-less and loveless. I walked that road, hoping and believing that whatever was between us, at the start, was true. And in all Honesty if it was true it was to come back.
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What on earth have I done.
To spend nights alone and sleepless in return.
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#poetsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #like4like #likeforlike

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I can never go against her because she did a lot for me, more than my Family. In all decency and morality I feel that would be worst I could do to her, going against her will. I am not a saint. I am as selfish as anyone can be when it comes to the love of your life. Sometime, it is hard to love someone and it is harder when someone is coping social shackles and the desire of their heart. In such relationship, it is not us - the single mortals, who take things as they wish to but because you have loved and loved with your soul, you got to be ready to see their convenience. But in the end if love wins, it becomes pride and if not then it is a suffering for life.
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#letters #loveletter #notes #like4like #instagrammer #likeforlike #writersofinstagram #poetsofinstagram

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The 36 years which I spent on this earth has never been more beautiful than the time spent with you. I am indebted to you for some most beautiful moments of my life. I owe you more than my words can ever express.

I always had certain dreams and desires like writing, travelling, exploring places and photography. But, all these become superficial when it comes to you. These indulgences of life matters so less to me that there are days I feel nothing towards them.
You're the best form of love. I always felt and feel, with you beside me I can go beyond my own limits. I can do better with my life. You become, for me, a matter of pride. Nothing with you ever felt enough. There has always been a kind of a burning appetite, unfulfilled and unsatisfied. You had been my Best friend and Bestest part of my life. You are umbilical cord I cannot cut you ever out of me!
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#letters #notes #love #writers #like4like #instagrammer

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