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lisamariecorso lisamariecorso

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Lisa Marie Corso  ✏️ Word nerd & yes, my parents named me after Elvis' spawn. It could have been worse right? At least my name isn't Apple


⚠️ SERIOUS QUESTION GUYS: WHO WORE IT BETTER?! QVM 2017 versus VMA 2001 Edition. #DoubleVenim πŸ‘•πŸ‘–

Sometimes in the world everything falls into place and is perfect. AND THIS IS PHOTO IS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS. It's so dame good.

On Wednesdays we wear pink. (Actually, me and @murraybarker don't discriminate, we wear pink on Sundays too.) 🌈#YASKWEEN πŸ“· by THE @esther_stewart πŸ’•

Starting my 29th year with a 7am physio and needling appointment, this selfie with terrible shadowing AND by sipping my morning smoothie out of the cup of life. But above all feeling *~twenty-FINE~* πŸ’πŸ»

Grazie Mille to the 22 transit people that got this 1990s vintage plate safely from Milan to my dinner table in the post in one piece. I went deep into the eBay abyss to find this and boy did I see some things along the way. Let's just say: 'One woman's trash is another woman's trash and another woman's trash and another woman's trash until it has been overlooked so many times and becomes Lisa Marie Corso's treasure'.

This meme is so me. Except replace 'boy' with 'Maggie Beer's Burnt Fig, Honeycomb and Caramel ice cream' then queue Ronan Keating's 'When You Saying At All' as I walk towards the freezer at my local IGA.

πŸ‘€ A STORY BEHIND A PHOTO: On Friday night I was driving to my Mum's birthday dinner, stationary at a set of red lights listening to the Go-Betweens when out of nowhere I was rear ended. The entire car went bananas and I screamed so loudly I'm pretty sure I woke up some locals at Carlton cemetery. I got of out of my little Honda Jazz and her Kim Kardashian booty was flattened like a crepe, the Mazda 3 behind me was a write off and the Holden Astra who hit us both like a strike at ten pin bowling had also seen better days. After I exchanged numbers with cars 2 and 3, I finally made it to my mum's Thai dinner late where I burst out crying in the restaurant and was handed this coconut water juice box and some sage advice from my nonna: 'Leese, stuff happens! For instance, today at the social club they gave me a roll with butter. I hate butter but you move on.' And she's right. So my sister took this photo and I wolfed down some Pad Thai happy to be ALIVE. Lesson of the day: remember to YO to the LO.

There's a reason she was awarded the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire and is known as Dayum Helen Mirren. Thus concluding today's edition of my 'Majestic Mature Women of Hollywood' bulletin. πŸ“Έ @allure magazine

🌈 Knowing that so many of my favourite friends do not have the basic right to get married/dance the nutbush in front of their family and friends at their wedding reception/and start every sentence with my 'hubby/wife/whatever says' until it goes from cute to annoying (because eventually you'll forget their partner's name) makes me the worst emotional combination of all: SAD/MAD or as I call it 'SAMAD'. Paying $122 million so people can decide if other people can say I DO is a waste of πŸ’° because LOVE is democratic, wearable by all and always on sale for: ZERO DOLLARS. It's the greatest bargain of all time and should be hanging in EVERYONE's wardrobe. So make sure you're enrolled to vote for the P-word that makes me 'SAMAD' and vote YES because love is love (and because I've already mentally wedding planned at least five of my gays' nuptials and just ordered 2000 non-refundable peonies).

🍌 One million happy birthdays to the girl that's number one on my banana phone's speed dial @aliceoehr and number one at life, and who is also the ultimate life coach (sorry Oprah), cook (sorry Nigella), artist (sorry Picasso), bike rider (sorry Lance Armstrong), listener (sorry Dolly Doctor), partner in crime (sorry Bonnie & Clyde) and BFF (sorry Meryl Streep, but actually please call me).

To my future unborn children,
On the 29th July, 2017, I baked what I'm dubbing as FAUXGERS aka cupcake hamburgers.
No animals were hurt in the making of this bunbelievable miracle unless you count me and my current mental state as I continue to find sesame seeds all over my kitchen floor.
Each burger comprises a vanilla cupcake 'brioche bun' with orange syrup and sesame seeds, a chocolate cake 'Angus beef pattie', shredded coconut dyed green 'lettuce' and vanilla butter frosting 'ketchup' and 'mustard' held together with a toothpick and served on a tray with a bed of fries and CocaCola.
Now should you stumble across this photo essay on the internet in the future, I want you to take a long, hard look at these cupcakes and know it's with pure love I say: Mummy is NEVER baking these again.

With love and carrot sticks (on the top shelf in the fridge), Mum 😘

I REACHED NIRVANA when I stumbled across this photo montage of IRL BFFs Dame Maggie and Sir Ian chilling at Wimbledon via @entertainmentweekly and I'm afraid life will never max out to that euphoric level again.

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