“Buddhism teaches that we have ‘no fixed self.' There is nothing permanent about us. During the depression, I wasn’t my ‘self,’ as we say. I didn’t seem to have a self at all, in a way that cruelly mimicked this central point in Buddhist teaching,” writes Susan Moon in a moving account of her journey back from depression.
“You’d think that it would be painless to have no self, because without a self, who was there to be in pain? And yet there was unbearable pain. Like a wind-up doll, I went stiffly through the motions of being Sue Moon, but there was no person present, no aliveness—only a battery that was running down.”
“I felt angry at Buddhism, as if to say: ‘You told me there’s no fixed self, and I believed you, and look where it got me!’ I knew the yang of it but not the yin—the balancing truth that there was no separation.”
Read “I Want to Tell You About Coming Apart and Struggling Through Depression" on LionsRoar.com. Link in bio.