Today is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day so 2 candles are lit in our living room honoring the two babies we lost. Here is a letter I wrote to them a few years ago. "Mama's angels, Today is pregnancy and infant loss day so it seems only fitting that I write my letter to you today. Angel baby number one: I only knew about you for a few days before you left, but it didn't take long for me to know that I loved you and was so glad you were going to make me a Mama. I was so excited to find out that you were growing in my tummy that I didn't even make it home before I took the test. Yes, I tested in a public restroom because I was so excited. Mama's do crazy things sometimes! 🙂 Daddy and I couldn't wait to tell everyone that you were on your way! We let everyone know that day. Sadly, we had to let everyone know a few days later that you gained your angel wings because God apparently needed you more than we did. Although my time with you was short, little one, it will never be forgotten. Angel baby number two: When Daddy and I found out about you we were excited about a second chance at being parents, but because of losing your big brother or sister we were more cautious with you. We decided that we wouldn't tell anyone because we didn't want to cause anyone else heart ache if you never made it into our arms. I was so happy though! I bought you a little Arkansas Razorback beanie and a little teddy bear soon after we found out about you. Mama still has those things as a reminder of you and your little sisters know that the bear sitting on their dresser was bought for their big brother or sister. It was the day before my first appointment at 10 weeks that I knew something was wrong because of a physical sign and I left work to go straight to my doctor where Daddy met me. Once we got there my doctor did an ultrasound and told us you didn't have a heart beat. I didn't want to believe the doctor so I said I was still going to go in for my scheduled first appointment the next day. Mama loved you so much I couldn't really fathom letting you go so soon...I had to have a second opinion. Daddy and I went in the next morning and they...fb to read the rest.