I’ve only ever had one real boyfriend. “The Love of my life”. We were going to stay together forever.
Then after 6 years he changed his mind and dumped me. Ruthlessly.
I was destroyed, and I spent the subsequent 3 years suffering immensely. Grieving deeply and profoundly.
And then last year something changed. I had a fantastic year - free of heartache! Seemingly out of nowhere the darkness turned to light.
Empowered by this shift I felt the strength and the courage to make contact and see how he is after all this time. A risky gamble, but one that has paid off and has given me closure.
Now we txt from time to time and all of my emotion for him and the situation is gone. It’s bizarre. I feel nothing but good vibes.
In fact, I can’t even remember what it was that I loved so much. He’s changed. And so have I.
Time really is a magnificent healer.
All of the fears that I had about him moving on and leaving me in the dust in the competition of life have dissipated completely. And unexpectedly I feel like I’ve come out on top!
So now I’m in a place where I’m not in love with anyone. I’m not heartbroken about anyone. I’m not pining for anyone. I’m not missing anyone. It’s just me. And I’m happy.
So, now what?
Finally invest some love into myself?
Or fall in love with a cute guy again and screw up the next decade of my life?
In any case, Love is a many splendored thing!
And vile. It’s fucking VILE.