Time for a positive change✨
A lot has changed in my life, many things are happening and I’m learning how to handle them. I’m also realizing that there some issues I never quite took care of before that I don’t want to burden my family with. So it’s time to work on them.
Naturally, pregnancy has a way of super magnifying things/emotions/insecurities that I could normally just shut off and tell myself I was being silly or unrealistic. That off button is so difficult to access now, so all my fears and insecurities that I never really addressed are seriously weighing me down.
There are things I don’t like about myself, of course, I think everyone has things they want to improve. But it’s changing that from self hate to self improvement that’s the challenge. Self hate is so destructive, and pregnancy has brought to the forefront how much of this I have for my own self, I am literally my biggest bully. Whether it’s shallow physical things or its deeper things, I hate myself for not improving on them or not being at the level I want to be. I realize this needs to stop and that I need to face the fear of the challenge and make those improvements, love myself and understand that I’m the only one who can make me happy.
It’s so not fair to burden your partner, or family with your self loathing and insecurities. I want to be able to be there for them, to uplift them, and always leave them feeling good after having been around me. A light, not a shadow.
So I’m gonna believe in myself (like my husband always tells me to), and make these positive improvements. I spent the night also removing negative people, things that bring me down, and accounts that make me feel horrible so I can focus on the light and inner growth that is totally possible! Not the impossible.
So here’s to the first day of the rest of my life and becoming the woman, wife, and mother I’ve always dreamed of being🥂🥂