lauriehuhu lauriehuhu

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Laurie Hill  🔹Singer | Dancer | Actor🔹Musical theatre student at MGA academy of performing arts (@themgaacademy) | ✨@burlycabaret dancer at @wildcabaret ✨|

Self love.
Loving and fully accepting ourselves is one of the hardest battles of life. I personally have struggled a lot with self hatred but managed, a few years ago, to change it around and love myself. Here is some advice I have to offer that I hope will be helpful to anyone that struggles with the same problem I had.
A lot of people have a bad perception of themselves which leads to negativity, guilt and anger. The first big battle is loving your appearance. We tend to dislike our appearances because we are scared others will see and despise what we consider to be our flaws. But these little things we hate about our appearance aren’t even usually noticed by others. We see ourselves in the mirror everyday, we know our skin and body by heart so any slight difference (to beauty standards or to what you think you usually look like) will seem like the biggest deal to us, but it won’t to others. Keep in mind that the way you see yourself isn’t identical to the way others see you.
Another big battle is choosing your friends and the people that surround you. Sometimes it happens that we find ourselves in friendships that don’t bring us anything, or even ones that drag us down. It’s always hard to tell someone that you don’t want/need them in your life, but it’s necessary. It’s important to surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. If you are able to love yourself when with them, and enjoy their company, it’s a win win situation.
The issue is that some of us might feel a lot of guilt. I used to constantly feel like my thoughts, choices, and actions were wrong. I lived in fear of hurting others as my desires were different from society’s normality. But in reality, as long as your desires aren’t malicious and your intentions aren’t to hurt, you have every right to, and should, embrace them. Sure, some mistakes will be made and maybe some guilt will follow. But don’t let it take over. Sit down, reflect upon your actions, learn and move on.
Insecurities also lead to anger. If you find that all your emotions transform into anger, it might be because you have repressed them, never allowing yourself to truly feel and process them.⬇️

• Where? Everywhere. •
One of my favourite/the most representative picture of me 😊
Photographer : @je_suis_lesautres
#photoshoot #photography #photograpgher #model #modelling #chilling #vintage

Sexual education.
We live in a society that at the same time censors and exposes sex. Sex is the big word. The one parents cringe at, the one every teenager talks about, this word that carries a notion of 'complicated mystery'. It's a big thing right? And it is! Most human beings have sex and most of us come from sex. So why would you lie, cringe, censor sex to your child?
Many parents would never even think about talking about sex in depth with their child. "They're too young" "I won't answer that question" "it's inappropriate". But when a child asks a question it means they are ready for the answer. Obviously depending on the age of the child the explanation needs to be adapted to their comprehension. But using replacement words for body parts such as "flower" for "vulva" is not what I would call a solution. Words such as "willy" are fine, as even though it's not the scientific one, this word has no other meaning then "penis". But "flower" does not equal vulva. A flower is something totally different. How betrayed would you feel if someone called your nose "grass" your entire childhood? I've only been aware of the true appellation "vulva" (that most people wrongly call vagina) recently. Which is quite disturbing as it is one of my body parts. It is just a word. And using "flower" does not protect your child. It has the opposite effect, giving a body part (that for a child is identical to any other body part as a young child isn't sexually awakened) an abnormal name. It suggests to the child that something is different about that body part. It makes sex taboo. Which is exactly what needs to be avoided. So many women find "vulvas", including their own, repulsive. It's a less common issue for men as their genitals are exterior and they start discovering and loving their penis quite young. But as women genitals are inside, it's an even better reason to show and explain to your daughter what a vulva is.
The second a face is made when your child asks you a sexual question, it becomes taboo. Avoiding questions puts the child at risk of getting hurt by learning what sex and consent are the wrong way.
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Femininity & Masculinity
"Femininity" (F) and "masculinity" (M) are words with different meanings throughout history depending on the society they've been used in. These however are based on a flawed binary system (instead of a more true-to-life spectrum), but as I do not know any replacement words, I will be using F&M in this post.
F and M are presented as a collection of traits that define what it is to be a "proper" woman or man, and are then linked to being desirable. This categorization leads to gender stereotypes.
I fell on articles that illustrates the epitome of these stereotypes: "There comes the point where a guy goes a little over the gender line and it makes you want to go, ew! Being sensitive is okay, being too feminine is definitely not. If you're seen as one of the feminine guys but want to be attractive to girls, stop these things." Then followed a list: "Don't cry at chick flicks, don't wear shorts that go above your knees, don't cross your legs, don't eat neatly, don't decorate, don't notice when someone has an awesome purse, you need to have owned a plastic figure or a plastic gun in your life," and, bafflingly, "don't love cats." These dictate taste, style, personality and emotions in ways that range from absurd to harmful. The same thing applies to F: "Be flexible, lose that fat, sound beautiful and polite, don't be clumsy, smile for him, don't throw yourself at him, dress attractively, don't be easily available, don't always agree with him, don't let him know you've fallen for him, be busy, never show him something bothers you, inflate his ego." All these instructions can be harmful if taken literally, as men and women might repress part of themselves in fear of being undesirable if not "feminine"/"masculine" enough.
I believe "F" and "M" - which are undefinable concepts far removed from these stereotypes - lie in everyone, are expressed differently in each individual, and can't be dictated and generalized. How could anyone define a human being by sensitivity = feminine and virility = masculine? It's upsetting to see that the online dictionary's synonym for M is roughness, and for F it's docility.
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TW; Rape
“Sideration” is a paralysed psychological state that occurs when facing a situation that surpasses understanding, commonly rape or sexual assault.
This paralysed state of mind shuts down the higher brain functions (moving, speaking, consciousness). These functions regulate a person’s reaction to stress, but when shut down this regulation can’t be done and an extreme stress overload occurs. To prevent this overload, a disjunction occurs*. This disjunction results in "dissociation", a disconnection to emotions. The victim will feel outside of their own body and won’t feel anything physically or emotionally, as if this event had nothing to do with them.
The MRI of a traumatized war fighter clearly shows the non-activation of the higher brain functions (sideration) and a hyperactivation of the part of the brain processing emotional response (dissociation).
Ignorance and rape culture blame the victims for these symptoms - that are directly linked to the trauma- when in actuality these symptoms are proof of assault. Generally, the lack of reaction of the victim is accused into being consent and therefore a “proof” that rape didn’t occur. During legal procedure, the defense will often claim “my client couldn’t know they were doing something bad, because the victim did not react”. A perverse turnaround. *When a disjunction occurs, normal memory circuit is disturbed meaning memories cannot properly integrate into the hippocampus and instead stay blocked in the amygdala, where they are more likely to come back and invade the victim whenever a slight reminder of the situation may arise. This can develop into PTSD.
Consent is the key word. If ALL the following aren't respected consent has not been given and you shouldn't engage in sexual activity!
Consent is a choice you make without pressure or under influence of drugs. Consent is reversible, you can freely change your mind at any time. Consent must be given to specifics in order to make sure everything happening is wanted. Consent arises from want, not expectations. Consent is communication. Check in with your partner regularly and make sure you can read signs of pleasure on their face and body at all times.

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