lalulubella lalulubella

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Alicia Marie 

😍 for days.

Everything about fall in Asheville. 🍂🍁

I just love you & miss your presence so much you beautiful goddess.

I was stuck in a dust storm, my goggles had broken, it was freezing cold & dark out. I waited the storm out, wrapping myself up to keep the dust from suffocating me. Sunrise came, the dust began to settle. I looked around me and there were bodies strewn everywhere, some were covered, others weren't so lucky, with a thick layer of dust covering everything. A few were so close to the embers, so still, that it seemed as if this were a scene from the end of days. Apocalyptic... maybe the future... definitely a scene that others experience, and not so surrealistic in their reality. I often think of what our world is coming to... I wonder if I will ever see this away from a magical place like burningman. I wonder if it will be under other circumstances on our own soil. It's strange, the perspectives we hold these things to....

According to Ifa, the difference between men & women is that women are born with Ofo- or Ashe- or the power of the word.
This power is called Aje & is rooted in the concept of female Ashe. ✨ Ashe is the component breathed into each human being by god. It is spiritual power; it is the power to create everything, gods, spirits, ancestors, humans, animals, plants, rocks, rivers & voiced words such as songs, prayers, praises, curses, or even everyday conversation. Existence, according to Yoruba thought, is dependent upon it; it is the power to make things happen & change. The power of the word is an important part of harnessing Ashe. ✨

Without access to true chaos, we will never have true peace.

"Language, she said, was just our way to explain away the wonder and glory of the world. To deconstruct. To dismiss. She said people can't deal with how beautiful the world really is." -Choke. Chuck Palahniuk.

Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly.
Let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you
As few human or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender,

My need of God
Absolutely
Clear. - Hafiz

existence.

I am forever in love, awe and grateful for the times with this little human being and his sister. Full of life, love, wonder and utter happiness. He has humor, smarts and also a little wise ass...(I'll assume that's from my fathers side) I wouldn't change him for the world. My heart aches knowing sometimes he's hurting, sad & not being appreciated like the joyous being he is.

Miles upon miles. I still continue on. It seems the distance weathers all, rubs the worn areas on my soul so that they become tender again. The scars I've worn into another skin are more and more familiar with every new day. I lay no claim to the stubbornness of my heart, only to the soul that it's guided by.

I've sat in silence for a while now. Contemplating my life, the things I've been blessed with, the things I've lost and the way life has it's timing, symmetry, cohesions and small details that, if you're paying close enough attention, will show you with clarity where you belong, where your heart is at peace, your mind at ease, and all is as it should be. Things have their ways of turning upside down, inside out, pushing you to & fro... if you let the ebb & flow guide you... the secrets reveal themselves, however tiny, insignificant and transparent they may be. In this place I've bound myself, found myself and freed myself from the burdens of my past, my ego, my hurt and my pain. I've had people come & go in this time, just as quickly as the changes are taking place, the relationships are consistently ebbing & flowing... some are tethered some have drifted. It's what is right, as you cannot make all those you meet truly understand you. It doesn't mean that it makes it any easier to move on. There is still love for those temporary friendships, lovers & confidants, even if it is not reciprocated. As for myself, I've learned to let go as a right of passage. Those who you do not serve and do not serve you to each your fullest potentials...are in the end just another distraction from the overall experience. In this place I've found the dream, I've been beaten down , challenged, called upon, cradled, built up and what can only be described as reborn. I am the best version of myself & only getting better. I don't know who will read this and understand their part, or even realize that they too have been a catalyst in this 'rebirth' that I am evermore grateful for, but thank you. To anyone whom has been part of my life, good or bad, here or afar. Thank you. I'm forever grateful for your role in my growth.