Admitting and accepting your faults is the gateway to improvement. Nothing can change without accepting the darkness that exists in all of us. And it’s okay! We all have it! To deny it is a delusion! #yinandyang
I strive to be as self conscious as possible(which is exhausting don’t get me wrong) but lately I’ve been trying to identify toxicities within myself; I technically have been for 7 years but more-so as of lately. And that in itself requires raw, brutal honesty. I know how to identify it in others no problem, I got that down. I don’t need to worry about it anymore(or furthermore, don’t need to worry about attempting to enlighten others on their unconscious toxic behavior who are so unwilling to change) #wastingenergy hence I love the quote “People can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.”, Matt Kahn.
Something I’ve learned about myself this past couple years is I have a problem with stooping down to the same level as someone who is bothersome to me. For me it became a last resort tactic to get the other person to see how they were making me feel. “Get a taste of their own medicine.” It’s childish and vindictive. And lemme tell you, it doesn’t work. In the process you realize you can essentially turn as “evil” as the other person is. And then it’s a question of who’s worse? Yeah I may not have been the antagonizer, but I reacted just as bad.
I need to learn to rise above it. Which in many many cases I do. But the few times I catch myself slippin and mirroring behavior, it kills me inside. I know that I know better. It is my higher self witnessing my unconscious self and all it’s flaws (reference to the untethered soul). It’s tedious, it’s ugly work, but the only way OUT is THROUGH. Be fucking real with yourself. It’s worth it. You can’t let others steal your light and embody and mirror the pain they have inflicted onto you. Gotta tell myself that again and again...