kristaallenxo kristaallenxo

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Krista Allen  Actress/Comedian/Mom/Lover of God and Beagles ❤️ Host of “I’m Fine.” with Krista Allen On iTunes, Spotify and Stitcher.

First time back on stage in over 2 weeks! Come out if you can!
Such a great line up!
🎤
#Repost @adamcomedian
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Monday Night we have an epic show at the Dime. Come thru. #hollywood #standupcomedy

When u vamp for the camera like my girl @vamp ... then realize u need 85 filters to make it happen....
**The Best Fiends Forever Show!! My sweet friend has been busting her ass putting together this amazing show .. think Muppets or Sesame Street, but with some edge and some batitude! Please follow @bestfiendsforever and support them! They are making a difference .... the values of the Golden Age are almost completely lost in the youth today. They make it fun and mix in great lessons to help teach kids those values!
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#kids #puppet #puppetmaster #art #education #love #fiends #bestfiends #love

My friend sent this to me today and it made me smile.
It’s so funny how some of us try so hard to be all things to someone else, instead of being all things to ourselves, first.
And then we get all sad and blue because we can’t control the situation the way we need to in order to feel better.
It’s our resistance to loving ourselves that keep us confused and stuck in a feeling of unworthiness.
For me, finding that connection with God ... Source ... Universe ... (or whatever that higher power is for you? ... Yoda?) ... is the one true ticket to freedom.
I have always unintentionally made my connection with someone else the most important thing ever ... I’m just now understanding that my human relationships come second to the connection to all that powerful and divine unconditional love that God has for me.
You need a dopamine fix?
Close your eyes, breathe. and love yourself damnit!!! ...
That could also be a masturbation reference. .. win-win. 💦😂
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#god #godisdope #loveyourself #selflove #love #loved #codependency

I love this beautiful woman who is sneaking this pic while I’m working.
She’s been coming over and taking care of me while I am recuperating. (Sidenote: I’m feeling so much better now, after 2 years scary health stuff and it’s finally over!)
Kate never left my side ... even when I said “I’m Fine!!” ... unless she had a show to get to.
She made me laugh at myself constantly, and hugged me if I cried and made me feel so loved and supported.
She also encouraged me to keep writing jokes and helped me find the funny in those human condition things we sometimes can’t find the humor in.
I love you so much @kateqfunny!
You are my hero.
Thank you.
#Repost @kateqfunny
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Focus on what's in the window.
The rest will work out.🖤 @kristaallenxo *
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#friends #bestfriendgoals #thankyou #love #lucky #hero #iloveyou #family #health

OC!!!! I’m coming for y’all!
Me and @acthecomedian and a great line up are at @irvineimprov Sunday night to bring your weekend to a happy ending!!
(Insert joke here)
(Now insert another joke)
(Keep inserting)
Please go to https://www.ticketweb.com/event/allan-cunningham-irvine-improv-tickets/8734875?pl=irvineimprov
For tickets or go to my story to swipe!
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#orangecounty #irvine #sundayfunday #oc #laugh #standupcomedy
#happyending

I got to be the guest Co-host on the MATTY AND ANTHONY SHOW while @mattycardarople was away filming a big movie!
So much fun! I even got to crack jokes with my spirit animal in human form @wowgregbckmn!
Also, got to bring on the brilliantly sexy and disarmingly charming powerhouse @carriekeagan!
She made me feel super cool ... because, she always does. 🤟🏻
Give a listen - link in @anthonydevries bio! Please follow all these fine folks if you don’t already!
#Repost @mattycardarople
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It’s spooky month for Halloween. This week on THE MATTY AND ANTHONY PODCAST, @mattycardarople was away filming a movie so special guest co-host @kristaallenxo @anthonydevries comes in for some shocktober fun. Guest, @carriekeagan talks about her new horror film @valentinedayz and @wowgregbckmn goes ghost hunting. Click the link in my bio to listen.

While others stood in line to make this giant puppet dance or wave to people ... I stood in line to try and make him do disgusting things to himself ... because I’m a grown woman.
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#puppet #puppetmasterbater
#fail
#yourwelcome

Read the re-post!

My son @jakemoritt just posted this letter that he wrote to President Bush when he was 7. I was a working single mom and all he wanted to do is hang out.
It’s maybe the cutest thing ever.
This kid is everything.
Always has been.
Luckiest mom on the planet.
#son #mom #momlifebelike #love #presidentbush #mtv
Repost @jakemoritt
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My letter to president bush when I was a kid 😂😂 Dear president Bush,
I have a bone to pick with you. Why do grownups have to work and pay rent and kids don’t? You see... who am I going to play guitar with. Cause I want to play with my mom. Can’t there be a summer vacation for grownups too? They will have a lot of fun with this rule. I don’t get why parents don’t have summer vacation and kids do. That’s not fair for grownups. I’m watching mtv right now and my mom is getting ready for a meeting and I have summer vacation and I want to watch mtv with her.

Thursday night I’m headlining with two of my faves!!!
It’s always a good time at this spot and I hope to see y’all there!
Please let me know if you’re coming and I’ll make sure you get a good table. *
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#standupcomedy #laugh #friends #datenight #girlsnight #brosnightout

TOMORROW NIGHT!
Shit’s about to get real ... fun!
Come come come come come!
#Repost @samtripoli
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Just added to the @punchdrunksports #ufc229 stand up comedy night at @thedojoofcomedy inside the @sycamoretavern, the one and only @wolfmate! Get your tickets now at @eventbrite!
#fights #fight #standupcomedy

Friends are our chosen family.
Tag a friend who is your ride or die!
(Or your pick up and carry away.) 😂

#Repost @sunnymabrey
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That time you had to calmly pull your drunk friend out of a bar fight because you didn’t want to see her face get broken over an argument she couldn’t remember 🤦🏼‍♀️ (via @1classlifestyle)

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