Them: Christopher what's that new diet you're on, you're glowing and your Backpage ad hotline is off the hook?? Me: ...oh it's just the Cobb Salad diet... Bacon. Chicken. Avocado. Egg. Blue Cheese crumbles. Other healthy shit like greens or whatever. Hello? It's uhmazing... and Gwyneth Paltrow recommends it to make my coochie smell like Bounty fabric softener.