kodanko kodanko

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Kels Kodanko  A sexy, fun bitch who just bought you a PIÑATA! @strictly_platonic_

Tiny spring moon last night 🌙

First time golfing today after years of begging my all-male coworkers to take me. I wasn’t actually allowed to golf, but look at what a natural I am at cart driving. Effortlessly casual, just honestly cool as hell. I know exactly what I’m doing and I’m doing it so, so well.

He’s soaking wet and I’m embarrassing him.

Anymore, I really only count months of sobriety when I have something to say. 21 months in and my sobriety, of course, continues to evolve almost daily. The last few months have left me hyper-aware of just how normal it is in our society to swallow and ignore emotions that come up completely naturally and are begging for examination. — I had a conversation with a friend this weekend and he said something about emotional disorders that is so insightful I still haven't stopped thinking about it, days later. We were discussing trying to lead a functional life while struggling with an emotional disorder and he casually mentioned that the behavior of every single person on this planet is unique. Unless you have an emotional disorder, that is. Once you have developed an emotional disorder of any kind, your behavior becomes completely predictable. — As a recovering addict, I can verify that this is absolutely true. I can now look back and see my behavioral patterns so clearly, it's laughable. I tried 100 different stupid ways to get sober. I would fuck everything up at the exact moment I needed NOT TO. I isolated myself, I was angry, I was numbing out, I was volatile, I pushed everyone away as hard as could. But most importantly, my disease was progressive. I was going downhill fast, it was only a matter of time. — A few weeks ago, someone asked me how I got sober. Not how I've maintained it, but how did I get to a point there was even something to maintain? While trying to answer this question, I finally realized what it was that broke me out of my cycle.
First of all, I walked out of a mental hospital (YEAH, that's right! I woke up unknowingly committed to a mental hospital, like something out of an awesome scary movie I would totally watch) with enough Ativan in my system to put a large horse down for a long nap. Then, the next day, I did something new. I didn't shame the hell out of myself for my life. Instead of making sure I was punishing myself for just how much of a piece of shit I was... I didn't. I just sat there. I sat there for a lot of days in a row, not punishing myself for once. (continued in comments)

He thinks he’s guarding me from the front door. I don’t have the heart to tell him that you’re not really a guard dog if you can fit on the back of the couch.

Let’s be real though, this creepy winged creature was obviously my favorite piece. And no, I was not supposed to take this picture.

Really loving the subtle color palettes Heather Carson creates exploring different tones of white light. This piece is called “light/DOUBLE ABLERS” from her Sculpted Light series.

Made spontaneous travel plans the one weekend the Northwest decided to actually winter this year 🆗🆒 The only other thing that’s ever taken me this close to death is severe substance abuse. I’m sorry right now I have no idea if that’s actually funny or if driving the pitch black canyon outside of Baker City in a blizzard just fractured my psyche a little bit.

Would it be weird if I did this every day? Nevermind, don’t answer that. I do not care.

It might have taken me an entire year to do something more with my office than just put my computer in there, but it’s finally done. Look at my new painting setup. LOOK AT IT! I love it.

I am in rarified air today. We cannot be bothered.

This summer I thought seriously about starting my own pinned butterfly collection. But when I realized I had neither the interest or skill to catch and kill butterflies, I seriously gave that up. But then I found a butterfly farm that humanely raises and harvests butterflies and moths. LOOK HOW COOL THESE ARE. I’m not a pro at framing them yet but they are so stupid beautiful, right? The one on the left is a real Death’s Head moth (referenced in Silence of the Lambs) 💀💀💀

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