kimapts kimapts

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Kim 

As I was typing out my last post, I realized how redundantly annoying I was getting. These tarot challenges are unexpectedly deep and are pulling all kinds of stuff out of me, but I feel like the overall tone of my posts has been negative or around crap that’s wrong with me, along with my more superficial promises to change said wrongness. 😆 So here’s a picture of a tamagotchi plush who’s real identity is Mimitchi but had been lovingly renamed to Bladderpuss because I am 5 years old. And yes, that’s a cloud pillow plush with a face on it behind it, cause I’m actually probably 4, not 5. 🤣

Yargh, I got behind on posting, though I did do these pulls with these particular decks on the actual days. #soultarotchallenge @wildsoulhealing 🌻
Day 25, A fear that is ready to become an ally: Seven of Pentacles. The first message that leaped out was regarding the lovely interpretation I heard by Lindsay Mack (@wildsoulhealing) that this card can be about divine timing. I easily get anxious about time: arriving on time, alotting the “right” amount of time to any given activity, etc. Sometimes I get *incredibly* stressed out about what I think others’ expectations are of me, or rules they set, with regards to time. (That sentence doesn’t really make sense, but I’m having trouble describing it! 😆) At any rate, this card is a gentle reminder that I can let go of my anxiety a little, let go of the rigid rules I inadvertently place on myself trying to please everyone else or to meet expectations that probably don’t exist anyway! I can alleviate this anxiety by being more communicative with those around me and especially with myself. In another sense, I can take my time with things: everything doesn’t have to be done right away and all at once (altho that’d be freakin nice!). 🌻
Day 26, A card I am being invited to embody some aspect of: High Priestess, reversed. Oof, too true. I could use more “sitting with myself.” I quite literally am always listening to something: music or podcasts. If I’m not listening, then I’m watching YouTube or playing video games. 😩 This is definitely a call to cut out distraction and seek knowledge from within. How can I hear my intuition if I’m constantly listening to something else? 🌻
Day 27, What am I gratefully leaving behind in February? Four of Wands, reversed. I am borrowing from an interpretation from Dr. Elliot Adam (@elliotoracle) when I say I’m ready to let go of expecting perfectionism of myself!! Ugh, I hate to beat a dead horse, but I have a real problem with being “unhappy” unless xx is “just so,” or whatever. It’s not so much an unhappiness, but the weirdest most random thing can be disappointing and then I focus on that rather than enjoying the moment. Whyyyyy do I do thisssss!! It’s so stressful!

Yar, I forgot that it trims the bottom and top if it’s a pic from my library. Whoopsie! 🌻
Day 22, How can I love myself more unconditionally? Page of Pentacles reversed: Tricky, my go-to keywords aren’t making much sense to me; at least right now. It could possibly mean that, similar to past pulls, I can let go of the drive of (material) perfection; having things just so. I also probably beat myself up way too much about not having the house in perfect order ever! 😩 🌻
Day 23, How can I strengthen my boundaries? Five of Pentacles: Ahaha, yeeeaaahh. I have been known to give so much of myself that I have nothing left for me. That or I try to do too much on my own and hit burnout. On another level, this card reminds me that as I search for spirituality within, I don’t have to take everyone/anyone else’s words/beliefs as dogma/absoluteness. I tend to take what sounds great on the surface level (like a truth hitting one liner) as fact and don’t investigate the why or root of it; I don’t investigate it. I’d like to spend more time reading and learning, asking questions, and then forging my own truth and beliefs. 🌻
Day 24, How can I be more intimate with my inner wildness? Eight of Swords, reversed: Take off that blindfold, baby! Let go of self limiting inhibitions! Don’t be afraid to try new things! I don’t have to go 100% in, I can dip my toes in first. The fire within (red dress) wants to be unleashed! 😜 🌻
#soultarotchallenge @wildsoulhealing
(Also I cant friggin figure out paragraph spacing on this thing.)

Day 20, What card guides me back to my center? Ace of Wands.
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This was nice pull today because I was hanging out with my son, who was building a lego kit and during my draw today I reached out for his hand (for no specific reason) and we held hands briefly while smiling at each other, and I drew my card. 😊 Anyway, it’s a lovely card to pull for today’s prompt: full of promise, hope, inspiration, and the energy of action- making dreams come true. I’m working on realizing and believing that underneath my insecurities and often harsh self judgment, I have the spark and fire within to dream and to take the steps to actualizing my dreams.
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#soultarotchallenge @wildsoulhealing #fountaintarot

Day 19, What am I drawing into my life at this time? #soultarotchallenge @wildsoulhealing #linestridertarot 🌻
Oof! I’m not sure how to take this one. On one hand, I’m being assured that it’s okay to stand my ground and be more assertive; though as the card suggests, I’m not sure that I’ve been through any recent issues lately that would warrant a standing-up-to.
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Ten of Swords reversed could stand for my new journey into learning about paganism, and the struggle I know I will have with divorcing myself from rigid Catholic belief systems. But it doesn’t have to be difficult or painful; really this card is inviting me not to struggle. I’m more than allowed to process and understand old and new teachings in my own way and in my own time. 🌻
Queen of Swords reversed is a gentle invitation (more like reminder) not to be a jerk; especially with my words. I’m in so much better of a place now than years past, but especially in winter I can get uber moody, negative, and overall disagreeable. I can do better! 😆

Day 17, How can I begin to expand my intuition? The Hierophant: Definitely appropriate as I’ve taken up the study of tarot and paganism/witchcraft. There’s so many resources available and I’m grateful to all those who have come before me and offer their knowledge. I’m doing my best not to get overwhelmed! I also have a lot of work to do around what to do with the dogma I’ve been brought up to believe in (Catholicism). The imagery of this version in particular makes me feel that writing, journaling, or even working with my hands in general holds the keys to unlocking more of my intuition.
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Day 18, How can I begin to trust myself more completely? Page of Swords: Stop talking and listen; and put more stock into what my gut tells me (other than “I’m hungry” every five minutes 😂). Stop second guessing myself; stop ruminating. Ugh, this will be a hard task to undertake; a difficult (dis)belief I have about myself... 🤔 But herein lies my confidence issues, I suppose. Bleh.
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#soultarotchallenge @wildsoulhealing

Day 15, A message from my inner elder: Six of Swords, reversed. 🤔 There’s something I may be holding on to in order to keep from moving on. What is it? Or perhaps just a general reminder to let go of that which no longer serves. I can’t move forward if I’m always looking back.
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Day 16, A message from my guides: Nine of Swords, reversed. Oog. I have been wondering lately if my depression is coming back again, or maybe it’s just seasonal. I like winter, but I don’t like the constant state of barrenness, especially the lack of green and other outside vegetation. I know we get some of our bluest skies during the colder months, but everything still seems gray and brown. Oh jeez, here I go making it worse. 😂 Or it could just be that I’m sad any time I have to be out of my delightfully warm, snuggly bed!! 😂😂 In seriousness, it is acceptable and appropriate to prioritize self care when I am feeling down, sad, anxious, etc. 😌
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#soultarotchallenge @wildsoulhealing

Day 14 of #soultarotchallenge by @wildsoulhealing “A message from my inner caretaker.”
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Appropriate, especially lately. I’ve had two recent experiences where I felt that I was either super awkward and/or lacking confidence with regards to my communication. I don’t know why, but I’ve been embarrassed lately, as well; for stuff that probably doesn’t even come up on anybody’s radar in the slightest! The Queen reminds me that I am strong and can be confident in my truth. I don’t have to be so worried about what others think of me. (I’m trying to do this after a long day at work and bad/not enough sleep last night, so I can’t quite focus... also appropriate! 😆)

Day 13 of #soultarotchallenge by @wildsoulhealing prompt, “A message from my inner child.” .

Knight of Pentacles: Immediately what came to mind was, “steady as she goes.” Solid, grounded, dependable. I thrive with structure and routine, though I’d like to get better at spontaneity. Maybe I’ve been too off course for a while and it’s a call back to structure and organization (definitely need help with organizing). Also, be better at saving money. 😆 I’m going to have to sit with this one a bit, because I’m not sure what exactly you’re trying to tell me, little one... 🤔

Some of the ice sculptures in Salem. I wonder how they’re faring in the snowstorm tonight...

Day 11 of #soultarotchallenge by @wildsoulhealing invites: A message from my heart. ❣️ Immediately I felt the message was, “Listen to me.” Then, “Trust me more.” I definitely am a mental-logical processor, even when the feelings come first and the emotions linger. I can talk myself into, out of, and back into the same damn paper bag. I could use more of “getting out of my head” and out of my own way. I will try to hear my heart more and take what it feels and says seriously, regardless of how my brain might want to process it. ♥️ #fountaintarot

Day 8 of the #soultarotchallenge by Lindsay (@wildsoulhealing) asks “What card is showing up as a teacher for me at this time?” My hand drew two with a single pull, so here they are! .
Knight of Coins: I feel like I’ve been seeing this one more often lately. This Knight in particular definitely has teachings I could benefit to learn, namely that around staying on course, seeing things through, and getting tasks done. I currently don’t make lists because the thought of it alone exhausts me, but inside I yearn for and thrive on structure. I need to take the reins and responsibility! I can do this! 😆
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King of Swords: In the same vein, I could stand to be more vocal. About what I’m feeling, what I want and need, and asking for help when I need it. I tend to struggle with being direct; I’m always concerned about how the other person will perceive it. What ends up happening is me being either super awkward (or at least feeling that way) or the message isn’t completely understood (or comes out from me incorrectly!). I guess I haven’t benefited from being a Communications major in my first undergrad... 🙄😆

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