From a very young age I never felt like I was good or pretty enough. I was an invisible teenager always striving to be seen and heard by classmates, boys I had crushes on, or even teachers who would not really acknowledge my existence. So I decided I was the problem - the ugliest and the most unlovable. The next time I looked at the mirror I saw everything I thought I should loathe: my face, my body, the way I move, speak, think and even feel. And that was the beginning of my self destruction. I did everything I could to fit in by mimicking everyone I envied, I became like a million different people in order to lose myself, because the "ME" was bad and everyone else was good in my head. Meeting emos I would act and dress like emo, with gamers I'd talk and act like a gamer, with adults or church people, I did the same. Yet I still didn't feel like I quite fit in. Now I was heard, but was it really 'me' that was heard or the face I put on desperately trying to be accepted? After years and years of trying, last fall I finally came back to see that little girl starring at herself at the mirror, pinching her own face, squeezing so hatefully the rolls on her belly, crying for hours. So we met again 15 years later. The same sad, lonely eyes would look right at me as if no time had passed by. I kept looking at the mirror through my tears until my mind stopped judging, well, bullying everything my eyes looked at. So I just looked and looked wordlessly, and suddenly I became calm because no voice was telling me to feel hateful. Was it even my voice to begin with? Or an adopted opinion from one of the kids at school merged into my adulthood, still pretending to be important today? I don't know, but this time I saw somebody in the mirror begging me to see the beauty. Somebody who is exuding so much life, ready to love and to be loved. I was fascinated for the first time with my own image, not pridefully, nor narcissistically but compassionately. With each breath I could feel the importance of this moment, of this body, of this heart. It is time to reverse the hate. It is time.- Khrystyana by @thaofromtheinternet for a book " Thick and thin"