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Kaitlyn Hostetler  But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength Isaiah 40:31

Miscarriage is painful. It’s hard to talk about and not talked about enough. It’s completely unexpected. It’s lonely. It makes you feel crazy, like the rest of the world goes on while you can’t. You struggle with not feeling like yourself. You want to know why when usually there is no specific reason. You struggle to trust God in the midst of the pain, knowing that He is the true source of joy, but struggling to feel it. People tell you things like “it happens to 1/5 women, it wasn’t meant to be, I know people who had a miscarriage and had a healthy baby right after, try again” and while true, these comments are not helpful, and only make the pain worse.
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We lost our first baby last summer and we know how it feels. Everyone has a different story but a loss is a loss, and this loss is emotionally and physically painful.
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I didn’t have the guts to share our painful news until I had happier news to share with it. There has to be a way we can make miscarriage easier to talk about, have people be more open and understanding to just listen when they don’t have the words to respond. Any by the way, it’s ok not to know what to say, I know you don’t have the answers. I hope by sharing our personal story we can help someone else not walk through it alone.
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God so graciously and mercifully has gifted us with our rainbow baby coming this September. It doesn’t take away the pain of loosing our first. My heart still aches everyday. Somehow God allows the sadness of loosing one baby and joy of having another to coexist. It’s difficult to explain but I am grateful I get to feel both.
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God gets all the glory whether through the painful seasons or the happy ones, He is our joy. I remember walking into our first ultrasound with this baby praying to God, begging that this baby would be alive and healthy, all the while saying I will be faithful no matter what. Good news or bad, Thy will be done. We are so thankful each moment for this miracle. Only by God’s grace and in his sweet, refining timing.
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We weep and ache with those who are walking through a loss. We pray for comfort from the only one who can comfort, and fullness of joy in the midst of the deepest of sorrow.

To avoid cleaning the rest of my house I just sit in the clean rooms and pretend everything is spotless 😀

Sharing this love project because it’s @evoke_dc’s 20th anniversary and it’s finally warm outside | tropical design inspired by so many of my favorite places | Photo @lauraashbrookphotography glass painted menu @emilybairddesign flowers @bluevandadesigns linen @dcreventrentals

Yes, daily.

Happy Birthday, my love

Showering @kathaaarine and this little babe!

Agate dessert gems for @evoke_dc

Agate bookends, origami birds, terra-cotta pots and menu booklets- this sure was a week for interesting calligraphy jobs | of course all for my creative @evoke_dc girls | menus by @emilybairddesign

This one is in honor of @amsale. My favorite dress ever. One of my favorite designers ever. One of my favorite bosses to work for. You will be missed.

He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Matthew 28:6

So much fun playing with flowers today at @sweetrootvillage 😍

Going modern Moroccan for @crateandbarrel x @evoke_dc thanks to @floralandbloom (florals) and @stephanieb_design (menus) #cratewedding | more fun on @evoke_dc insta story

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