A man is not judged by the number of gold certificates that hang on his wall. Wait. That’s actually a pretty accurate way to judge a man.
Does anybody know how to take care of a gold goldfish? I have no clue what I’m doing. All I’ve learned so far is that it doesn’t eat fried chicken.
In hindsight, a fireplace that burns gold is both horribly expensive and not particularly warm. Live and learn.
Instead of gold at the end of the rainbow, it’s Georgia Gold. And instead of a creepy leprechaun, it’s a charming Colonel. Everybody wins.
Introducing Gold Brick Breaker, the award-winning Instagram game that critics are calling “confusing,” and “Did it format over email wrong? These are just gifs.” See if you’ve got what it takes!
It doesn’t take much to keep me happy—just my solid-gold house and my solid-gold things. Wait, my happiness is actually very expensive.
Why make a solid-gold fax machine? Haha, you don’t know? Well, neither do I. It was a tremendous waste of money (that I truly regret).
Gold-plate your insides with KFC’s new honey mustard-BBQ Georgia Gold Chicken, because it’s the gold on the inside that really counts.
Do you think you have what it takes to sit at my gold desk, in my gold chair, and eat my gold chicken? Eh, you probably do. It’s very easy.
Scissors. Rock. Paper. Rock. Rock. Scissors. Paper. Paper. Rock. Rock. Rock. Paper. Paper. Scissors. Scissors.Scissors. Rock. Rock. Paper. Paper. Paper. See the dramatic ending this Sunday, fourth quarter. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE… AT A TIME.
One Colonel—a proud Colonel. Head coach of America’s newest professional football team, the Kentucky Buckets. The other Colonel—also proud, and gold. Very gold. As in, 100% gold. So that makes two Colonels, because that’s how math works. But there can be only one...at a time, because that’s how Coloneling works. This Sunday.
This Sunday, in the fourth quarter, two Colonel Sanders will share the screen for the first time in history. But, they wont touch because time machine movies have taught us that if two of the same objects touch the universe will melt and we certainly don’t want that to happen.