kellyoxford kellyoxford

4,924 posts   221,530 followers   959 followings

kelly oxford  NYT bestselling author and screenwriter

I danced. A girl is puking beside us in a garbage can. Life is still the same, at 41. No one is up on Instagram but you.

I guess @thefatjewish just posted a pretty similar post... same sentiment since 2013 :(

1980: Baby bangs and pacifier teeth was my lewk. #tbt

1. Went to a place to location scout for movie yesterday, it felt v v haunted & woke up with a cold. Completely correlated. Like the time I admitted I thought Osama Bin Laden had “bedroom eyes” and woke up with a UTI.
2. Guessing most people are also only alone while they’re in their cars. Guess parents are only alone for half that drive after dropping kids off at school. Just sitting here in rain listening to Kacey Musgraves.
3. Thank you Selena Gomez for today’s makeup inspo.
4. Still sick of old straight white men.
5. Proud of @busyphilipps and all women sharing #YouKnowMe stories.
6. Hope you have a nice day.

Link to @aclu_nationwide in my bio.
Just watched the news with my 10yr old daughter who turned to me and said, “Ewww, Alabama.” CORRECT. @yellowfund @prochoiceamerica

Happy 18th Birthday Salinger💗 Your mind is my favorite mind. To the wildest-funniest-grounded-vulnerable person I know: You’ve surpassed all of my expectations of having a daughter and I can’t believe you’re mine forever.

At the #BOOKSMART premiere celebrating @noahegalvin and @oliviawilde tonight 💕 SO PROUD OF MY LOVE OLIVIA AND ADRIAN’S BRO NOAH💕 Used the tail end of an 8 year old Chanel eyeliner that was discontinued and totally not replaceable. Worth it.

I still can’t believe I had three babies before smartphones.

Mother’s Day is complicated for some and straightforward for others.
This makes sense because being a mother is both straightforward and instinctual and complicated and confusing. It carries the possibility of being the hardest thing you’ll ever do and the most beautiful relationship you’ll ever have.
Today I’m reflecting on being a mother, my friends who are mothers, my friends who have lost mothers, those who adore their mothers and those who have complicated histories with their mothers.
We all have a story and it started with her.

I wasn’t really smiling. I found an app that puts a smile on your face. I think the app uses Anne Hathaway’s perfect teeth. Do I get veneers?

Dressed like a Wizard and driving to Starbucks; what’s your order?
JK, I don’t fuck with Starbucks.
I’m writing in bed with a kidney infection I got from just using d-mannose on the UTI I got in France. Already prepared with Diflucan for the resulting yeast infection from the antibiotics I’m on for this kidney infection. Anyhow, being a woman is so fun and what’s your order?

Still willing to chill during your wedding vows. #tbt

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