At least once a year, when I'm going through one of my many boxes of mementos and clippings saved for collage and zine purposes, I rediscover this awesomely embarrassing letter written in gel pen on Amelia's Notebook stationary hidden in the pages of an unfinished zine from 2011. I had my first big crush and was simultaneously amazed and horrified at how emotional I was over it and passed this note to my friend Emily as we sat with our sisters in the choir loft at church, drawing and reading Archie comics. As a lowly 5th grader, I was pretty in awe of Emily's 6th grade wisdom, and she wrote back a characteristically sage reply, and then I totally forgot about the letter until a few months later when my dad picked me up from school, bearing the letter, which he had found as he and my mom worked on packing up my room in preparation to move into a new house. He was all verklempt and started making some speech about how sweet it was that I was growing up and being open with my friends about my feelings and I was MORTIFIED. I burst into tears, and always figured the letter got tossed until a decade later, when I went over to my mom's house for dinner. Once again, a move was preparing to be made, and as I sat down for dinner and she and my sister started laughing and told me they'd found an amazing letter in a storage bin full of papers and drawings from my childhood, my blood ran cold. They whipped out the letter, and even though I hadn't seen it since the day my dad found it, I automatically knew what it was and freaked out. And then I chilled out and read it and found it p funny with some distance between it and the memory, and set it aside to use in a zine that I never got around to finishing, and finally called out a quiet thanks to no one in particular that middle school is now just a continuously fading memory.