karikwinnyoga karikwinnyoga

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Kari Kwinn  Irreverent and devoted yogini, living a life worth writing about. Rooted in the Rockies. Inspired by desert air. In search of water.

Today’s mantra: It will suck, then it will pass. Can be applied to teething babes, tax season, or my friend Shane, who likes to step on my heels and remind me of my trespasses.

And on the third (or fourth) day, she rose again. And wandered into the wilderness. And the wind stopped. ——- the world has felt too much these days, and I know it is because I have put too much into it. My life was packed to the gills, and then empty, and boy was empty terrifying. But I’m sitting in it. Trying to decide where and how to expand and spread my wings...

Thanks to the amazing @kghorai, there is proof that I existed this weekend. I am grateful for the teachers who have come before me, and grateful to those who will carry the teaching forward. Students choose their teachers, so teach! Otherwise how will they find you? How will they hear the words they need to hear to make sense of their lives? Learn. Teach. It is part of our Agreement.

I am so grateful to have slept well last night.
My anxiety is up early again... talking to god... in the 3 o’clock hour.
Which is all well and good. She’s usually quick. But sometimes she’s a little too loud, and her sister grief wakes up.
And now we’re in trouble.
It’s especially cruel to wonder what others are doing in these hours, and to see people complain about the very real distress of caring for crying or sick littles. Sleepless nights in the disastrous wake of an ear infection or the curse of colic.
It’s horrible.
And somehow I’m up - the clock in me eager to check on a sleeping babe, and instead finding emptiness. Always emptiness, like the aftermath of the fire. Beautiful in its own right, and terrible for those whose livelihoods it has consumed.
My life is consumed this morning.
Grief. The colic of the mind.
Unexplainable and relentless. Easy to wake and impossible to put down.

Thank you, to all of you beautiful people who showed up in person or in spirit, who sent messages or vibes, who held me in all the ways.

Performing tonight. What comfort zone?!?

Anne Lamott says that the wisdom of Easter is you can bury the truth, but you can't keep it there.

So. Here's what I have to say this time. --- "In later years I would learn that the forgiveness I'm seeking on behalf of others offers no respite for me. That Mary herself cannot absolve one of Stockholm Syndrome, and that lies beget lies and the punishment is crucifixion. No amount of 'good enough' can protect you from the weather." FB for more. #livealifeworthwritingabout #thenwriteaboutit #writing #blog #truth #grace

Santa Fe can’t help but be beautiful, even in her grief at the end of the day.
The end of my visit.
The doors.
The doors feel like a boneyard in the low light, and I feel that, too. Ornate - exquisite - evidence of the storms they have held out, the weather they have survived. (If only I could see the beauty of my own character in the same light.) Yesterday a friend told me that I’m like Santa Fe in the following ways: quaint, unassuming, vibrant, sweet, savory, and wise.
Ok, then. I’ll take it. Try it on. You can have your perfect beach girls, I’ll proudly be a girl of the desert, with windy hair and freckles.
More beautiful for the storms I’ve weathered. #santafe #livealifeworthwritingabout #thenwriteaboutit #beauty #boneyard #doors #doorporn #girlsofthedesert #grace

Your. Dirty. Mind. An unusual sidestep of my usual, as a result of time in the cave (and my new head injury). #livealifeworthwritingabout #thenwriteaboutit #writing #blog #yoga #ayurveda #unofficialhandmodel

In the wind...

I am doing a Thing. A standup comedy Thing. It apparently starts by confronting a few of the handy demons I’ve been holding onto for 30+ years. Hoarding? Guess I’m a Kwinn after all... #kwinning #comedy #writing #standup

Smoke and mirrors... it’s a blessing to have friends who see you and hold you. And hold your feet to the fire. And make rooms available any time. My heart feels at home here.

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