justjanelley justjanelley

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Janelle  Heaven and hell in one.

Sometimes, pens help me pretend I'm fully functional.
They give me the illusion I am alright even though I am not

#pens #collection #colors #potd #love #highlighter #markers #schoolsupplies #pilot #stabilo #titus

8 x 10
Acrylic on Canvas
Blithe

#Painting #art #artwork #colorful #acrylic #potd #love #paint

My main man is celebrating his bday today.
Not going to reveal this Tisoy's age because he looks younger than his peers.
Happy Birthday Papa!
#birthday #love #potd #selfies

The lows are perhaps the worst
The creativity is gone
The brilliance is absent
I wish I have never existed
And the idea of death sometimes crosses my mind
Death as a friend
Death to give me rest

But then I realize
It's my mentall illness speaking
Once again, I am a slave to my mood disorder

I am at its mercy
And I am currently losing
But I will not stop fighting

Soon, I will be alright.
Baby steps
I want to live.
#bipolardisorder #bipolar2 #bipolardepression #depression #mentalhealthawareness #art #painting #watercolor #blue #potd #artwork

This week has been particularly difficult for me. I struggled because I had uncontrollable rage.
Rage is honestly one of the most dangerous issues faced by a person with bipolar disorder. Rage can ruin someone else's day. Rage can ruin relationships. Worst of all, rage can cause impulsive actions which could have intense consequences and can ruin ones own life.
I still have a long way to go in identifying what triggers rage and what can be done to prevent and handle it.
Rage can be dangerous. Rage can be deadly.
#bipolardisorder #bipolardisorder2 #rage #art #artwork #painting #oilpaint #oil #oiloncanvas #red #anger
#art🎨 #bipolar2 #bipolar #mentalhealthawareness #potd #thoughts

Masculine feminine... Somewhere a little in between haha
#hairgoals #hair #undercut #love #potd #style #hairstyles #smile

My animal best friend.
Jasper the sabad doggo
#dog #love #potd #smile #animals #dogsofinstagram #dogstagram #pets #happy

I am like a flower
That needs nuturing
In order to grow
And become a better person.

I am like a flower
That needs external love
In order to become my most beautiful and wonderful self.
I am like a flower
That needs to be resilient
In order to face the hardships
And rainstorms of life.

I am like a flower
That's weak once in the arms of another person
And when not taken cared of properly
May wilt and could possibly die

#flower #painting #thoughts #art #paint #oiloncanvas #oilpaint #love #potd #artwork #colors

I sometimes wish my soul was a newly primed canvas
A clean slate free from stain
Free from regrets and sadness
Free to act without thinking of the consequences
And from the fear of the unknown
A soul without inhibition

I sometimes wish my soul was a newly primed canvas
Looking forward to what life has to offer
Ready to fall in love without analysing
Without thinking of pain nor misery
A soul ready to gamble

I sometimes wish my soul was a newly primed canvas
But I realize that my broken soul is what makes me who I am now
The stains of life experiences
Made me stronger and wiser
And despite of the imperfect journey
I know that even if my soul was a newly primed canvas, I would still make the same mistakes all over again
To say that I have competely lived.
#canvas #poetry #primer #art #painting #potd #qotd #love #easel #white

Someday, I'm going to fall in love
He's going to love me back
He'll love me despite of my flaws and imperfections
He'll be patient and understanding.
He and I are going to see the northern lights
Holding hands and sitting beside each other
We'll admire the view together
And just enjoy each other's company.
Someday, I know I'll find that love
That love that's worth fighting for
For now, it will just be a dream
An idea that comes and goes
A happy thought.
#auroraborealis #northernlights #painting #art #watercolor #love #sundaythoughts #potd #poetry
#color #artwork

Mindless chatter.
Boisterous laughter.
Loud noise.
The sound of friendship, the sound of camaraderie.
She sits in the middle of the room
As if she is part of the group.
But deep down she knows she's broken.
She's falling apart.

Piece by piece, she tries to stick
The fragments of herself together
She wants to be whole again.
She just wishes to be alright.
And then she remembers
A broken egg can still be useful
Her hope is regained.
She will be okay.
#bipolar2 #art #thoughts #potd #acrylic #painting #colorful #happiness #love #bipolar #qotd #egg

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