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julieling julieling

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Julie Ling  putting flowers on everything that hurts 🖤

i was in a field
it was the morning
the light was shining through my white dress
exposing the silhouette of my thighs, of my breasts
i was alone and spinning and spinning and spinning in circles
arms fully extended from my sides
i could hear only the wind and the sound of the tall yellow grass colliding with each other, then with the ground, then with each other, then with the sky
i could remember
there was lavender and vanilla beans and a burned out campfire still from the night before
everything was moving so fast
i could feel the rotation of life around me as i spun in the opposite direction
there was nothing for me to hold onto
i wanted to stop so i could look at all the beauty
but every time i tried to slow my momentum
the turns increased and faster
all i could see were colors but I couldn't differentiate which was which
i wanted to look at the lavender and the vanilla beans and the smoke from the campfire
my heart beat was increasing to match the velocity of which i was spinning
i wanted to stop and look
i wanted something to hold onto
i wanted to be still
i wanted something to hold on to
i wanted something to hold

then all of the sudden the wind died and i could no longer hear the yellow grass colliding
And all the colors were no longer blending
and all of the sudden i felt embraced
and for the first time I could smell the lavender and the vanilla beans and the left over campfire
and all the beauty was coming into focus
and i realized i was no longer spinning
and i realized the beat of my heart was soft
and everything was right
and in front of me
and possible
and for the first time i felt protected
i looked around to see what i was holding onto
but there was nothing
i could smell the ocean
and the mix of sun and skin and coconuts and sleep
and then i realized i wasnt alone anymore
and my longing to hold on to something had subsided
something was holding onto me

the #butterfly and the #bee

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