Anorexia vs Recovery
Imagine anorexia as a road that eventually leads to death. You have been riding on this road for a long time, many many years probably. Every time you drive on this road, it gets bigger. You learn to drive faster and faster. After years of riding the "anorexia road" it has grown into a gigantic multi-lane highway. You feel safe on there. Safe enough to bomb down the road at break neck speed. This road has become easy, but it is still a dead end street with only one destination: death.
Now imagine that you are trying to go into the other direction (recovery). Well, there is no road. So you leave the anorexia motorway and find yourself in a dense forest. You try to take the first step and you trip over a stone and land right on your face! "Screw this" you say and go back to your highway.
Some days later you try again to get off this road to death, this time you are determined not to go back. You fight your way through sticks and stones, trip over everything, scratch your skin open and after 2 hours you are bruised, bleeding and crying in pain. You look back and get angry because in these 2 hours you have only gotten ahead some meters. "Screw this" you say and back to highway anorexia it is.
This continues for weeks, months and years.
But every time you decide to fight your way through the forest, it gets a little easier. At first it may only be a little dirt path, but the more stones and tree branches you get out of your way, they easier it becomes to walk. Sure you always see the big and safe anorexia road right next to you, but that road hasn't gotten as big as it is now over night. You built it with years of self-destructive behaviour.
So you have to build your road to recovery with days, weeks, months and years of self-care.
It is gonna hurt, you will fall, bruise and bleed. But you have to focus on the fact that this is the only road that leads to life and happiness.
Keep walking, keep crawling and some day you will find that you built yourself a whole new highway. A highway to a healthy and happy life. Some days you will miss your old anorexia motorway, that's okay.
The road that you choose to build, will grow.
Choose the right road👣