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jordanshrinks jordanshrinks

347 posts   161923 followers   85 followings

J O R D A N πŸ¦‡  plant slayer, mediocre runner, high carb 303.4lbs β†’ 172.2lbs | ↓ 131.2lbs | 5'9" youtube: jordanshrinks βœ‰οΈ jordanshrinks@gmail.com

http://dietbet.com/jordanshrinks

DIS MY DERPY FACE, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. #NSV FOR BEING COMFORTABLE WITH TAKING UPWARD-ANGLED PHOTOS. πŸ’πŸ» Ps my surgery is in ten days so the countdown is officially on. 😈πŸ”ͺ #ilooklikeamom #ahotmom #stacysmom Outfit details tagged. Happy Sunday. πŸ–€πŸ¦‡

IF THIS AIN'T ME

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH FROM SPOOKY JORDO. πŸ”ͺπŸ‘»πŸŽƒ BE SAFE, LOVE U. πŸ–€ Outfit details tagged.

HI, FRIENDS. πŸ–€ What the hick hackle apple sackle?? MY SURGERY IS IN FOURTEEN DAYS. TWO WEEKS. TIME IS GOING BY SO QUICKLY. 😬 This post is for my surgery Q&A. Please leave me any questions you have regarding my surgery so I can be sure to include them in my surgery video. πŸ–€ I'm gonna start working on it and organizing pre-op info. Also feel free to throw in suggestions for my video. PLS ACCEPT THIS PIC OF ME WITH MY APPLE BALLS. I WORKED REALLY HARD TO PICK THOSE (jk I found them in the dirt). Ok bye. #JORDOOUT ✌🏻 Like this pic if you want to be rich. Ignore this pic if you want to be punched in the face by John Cena.

I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE METAL LIFE, THE METAL LIFE CHOSE ME. #transformationtuesday #lesschunky #stillfunky #swiggityswaggy #shirtslookingbaggy #15days

Did you say... TACOS?

I MISSED #TRANSFORMATIONTUESDAY BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE I CREATED #THOTTYTHURSDAY. Hello new followers. πŸ‘‹πŸ» Hello old followers. πŸ‘‹πŸ» Thank you for following me. This is my transformation. I've been getting a lot of basic questions lately so I thought I'd refresh everyone's memory. In January 2016, my starting weight was 303.4lbs. I am now hovering around 172lbs, with an ultimate goal weight of 165lbs. If you don't think I look like I weigh 172lbs, it's because I am tall (5'9") and I'm such a fucking angel that I have a heart of gold that weighs me down. My exercise routine includes running every morning and pretty much walking everywhere throughout the day. I follow a high carb plant based diet - high carb meaning I eat a lot of potatoes, bananas, rice, beans, etc. (not simple carbs). I have many interests. I like music, makeup, food, technology, politics, food, causing havoc in the streets, fucking with people on tinder, food, etc. I'm weird but like the lovable weird, not the "what the fuck" kinda weird (at least that's what I tell myself). THANKS FOR FOLLOWING ALONG MY JOURNEY. For those who don't know, I will be having a tummy tuck and breast lift in 20 darn diddly days. And let me tell you - this waist is gonna be SNATCHEDDD, BITCH. TITS GONNA BE PERKY AF. So stick around if ya wanna see my future banging hot bod. ALRIGHT PEACE OUT BYE.

Don't mess with me, Gerald. We both know that the quadratic formula is a fucking myth.

will exchange apples for hugs (and chocolate)

YA GURL SAW YOUR REQUESTS AND SHE DELIVERED. My new YouTube video is LIVE on my channel and it is all about HOW GUYS TREAT ME BEFORE AND AFTER WEIGHT LOSS. 😎 Oh man, you're gonna wanna grab a snack because it's a long one (managed to get it under 20 minutes though so go me). I do a whole lotta blabbing about nothing, so if you're looking to waste 20 minutes of your Sunday... LOOK NO FURTHER. As you can tell, things get pretty wild. Please head over to my channel to give 'er a watch (just search "jordanshrinks"). Don't forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE. πŸ–€ Also turn on those upload notifications and become apart of the NOTIFICATION SQUAAAD. 🀘🏻 LEAVE ME A COMMENT HERE AND TELL ME WHAT YA THINK. I love to hear your feedback. That bottom right pic is cute af, right? Give this photo a big fat like if you'd like to wake up to that face every morning. OK BYE. πŸ¦‡
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Our spooky DietBet has started but gurrrl you still got 12 days to sign up πŸ’πŸ»! Bet monaaay that you can lose some weight this month and split the pot (nearly $45,000 πŸ‘€) with the other winners. It's a great way to stay motivated in weight loss. πŸ˜‰ Link in my bio. πŸ•·πŸ•Έ
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Btw off-topic but so many people ask me where I buy my outfits so I am gonna start tagging the companies in my pics for you guyssss. 😘 BYE AGAIN.

AW HECK YA IT IS FRICK FRACKIN APPLE SACKIN #FACETOFACEFRIDAY. 🍎 Haven't done one of these in a hot second so I figured I'd throw together this super fancy coloured-contacts edition. I don't do these often because I don't see much change in my face. CHIPMUNK CHEEKS FOREVER. FULL OF NUTS. Can't lie - not a big fan of the cheeks (currently seeking a sugar daddy [who gets no sugar] to pay for a nice doctor to zap the chub out of my face with some laser lipo). Apply in DMs - would prefer if you live across the planet so I never have to see you in person. Until I find my ideal candidate, I will continue freaking people out with how far my cheeks stretch (honestly the biggest tragedy of 2017 is that I forgot to show my cheeks in my loose skin video). I'm just being super annoying and rambling about nothing now so bye.
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SPOOKY DIETBET STARTS TODAY. πŸŽƒπŸ‘» AND YOU CAN STILL JOIN. πŸ¦‡πŸ•·πŸ€“ Bet $30USD that you can lose 4% of your body weight in four weeks and you get to split the pot with the other winners! The pot is nearly $40,000!!! You can win some of dat. πŸ˜‰ Open internationally. Link in bio. πŸ–€

#tbt to little Jordy hoe-ing it up after losing her first 100lbs. I was FEELING MASELLFFFFF because I hadn't gone out in months and I had sparkly eyeshadow on. 😎 I received some male attention that night and responded to it by running away and hiding in the washroom like the daring seductress that I am. I was about 205lbs when this photo was taken and given the fact that it is frick frackin apple sackin October in TWO DAYS, I figured it was appropriate to upload because it gives me mad horror vibes (reminds me of The Shining expect I'm less cute and less bloody). Anywho, just wanted to remind everyone to love yourself at every stage of your journey. β˜ΊοΈπŸ–€ Sounds lame and cliche af but you don't have to see a certain number on the scale to be valuable. You are worthy now and deserve to be happy now. Keep your head up and keep crushing your goals. πŸ–€
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Our spooky Halloween DietBet starts TOMORROW. πŸ¦‡ Click the link in my bio if you want to join and earn money for losing weight (our pot is almost $30,000). πŸŽƒπŸ‘» Open internationally.

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