This year was my first Trans Pride. I gotta say, the eyes thru which I see transgender and genderqueer people are entirely, profoundly different this year. Before I worked up the courage to ask myself the painfully difficult question of my actual gender, I was not the most accepting or understanding person to my people. In fact, in a past life I spoke out against them, tried to help people be free of "the sin of homosexuality", treated them as if they had a curable disease. I was afraid of what I didn't understand and I hurt a lot of people by acting on someone else's word rather than my own experiences. And here I am now: 6 months on T and a genderfuck if there ever was one. And here I am healthy, happy and renewed instead of angry, anxious and depressed. All it took was the courage to ask myself if I was wrong or misinformed.
Indeed I was. I was very wrong and it haunts me daily. But I'm adding pride to the daily mix. I'm adding gratitude to the daily mix. And now I do my best to seek out understanding instead of fear and embrace welcome wisdom when I'm wrong, because the light on the other side of ignorance reveals the deepest beauty of our world. The beauty of the gray.
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