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joey_hackett joey_hackett

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Joey  Sharing my journey; PTSD recovery (childhood sexual abuse) Mental health Cookie/donut Expert Fitness

Beautiful last day in the Lou. Time to head West. Emotions range from excited, scared, fearful, optimistic, sad, happy, pessimistic, confident, timid but above all else, grateful. So much of life is a dichotomy. We need the good and bad. So many people’s first instinct, myself included, is to; run, numb and/or avoid negative feelings. -

Despite the roller coaster of emotions, I’m grateful for this journey and the people in my life. I have an unwavering faith that life will work out exactly how it is suppose to if I’m guided by principles instead of fleeting emotions. I’m naturally a pessimistic person. I’m comfortable in misery. Life has also taught me, through some very difficult lessons, that i don’t have the luxury of stewing in that darkness long. It’s a CHOICE to “feel” negative emotions but not be a slave to them. -
- If your struggling, separate yourself and your emotions. Those negative thoughts can rob us of a rational thought pattern because they become all too consuming. You’re going to be ok. Sit. Feel. Laugh. Cry.... just don’t ever give up. -

One final note.... @shane_adair1 is a hater. He gives me shit about my jeans being too tight. I wheel kicked him in the face to prove him wrong and he’s dead now. RIP Shane. @candicehaley1 call me

Feels good to feel good. I really fucking hate working out sometimes. I think I’d be good on the show “my 600lbs life” but i love the way exercising makes me feel. It’s way beyond aesthetics. It’s beyond looking good with a shirt off. It positively impacts every part of@my life. I hope you find that outlet for yourself

I’m really having a difficult time to put into words everything going on in my head so I’m going to keep this basic. -

Some may know and some may not but I’ve been offered and accepted a management position with @peakaz in Scottsdale, AZ! I’m grateful for the opportunity offered by @theviking__ and look forward to continue to grow the Peak community in the Phoenix area! -

I’m going to miss a lot about St. Louis. When i moved back 18 or so months ago it was with the mindset that this would be “home” for the foreseeable future. Life is life though. Doors shut and new ones open. One thing that I’ve learned on the ride called life is that if you live your life by a certain set of principles, you’re able to handle anything life may throw at you. -

I’m grateful for old friendships that were renewed when I got back to at. Louis. I’m grateful for new friendships that have made St. Louis feel like home for the past 18 months. I’m grateful for @1stphorm and their crew that has become some of my closest friendships (not @davidmullis though). Finally, I can’t say enough about my family and their unwavering support. Thank you to everyone in the Lou that has made this “fly over state” a fun and special place to live.

To those who walk the line of an impossibly difficult job, THANK YOU! -

Thin Blue Line

We didn’t choose the thug life...the thug life chose us.

In the height of my PTSD/depression/alcohol fueled destruction, I went months and months without looking myself in the mirror. I wouldn’t even wear contacts or glasses because I had lost all respect for life....i was empty. -

I was malnourished as the only calories I would get were through alcohol. I had a distended stomach from the alcohol consumption but could see and feel my rib cage through my chest. -

Most people use “foxhole prayers” asking god to get them out of a situation...i would pray he would just end it for me already. -

I know...i know...hurry up and explain what this expert level douche photo has to do with it...I’ll do my best... -

For me, a strong body represents more than just looking good naked (although that’s a nice perk). It represents forming certain characteristic traits that weren’t achievable or even conceivable to my old self. The “whoa is me” person. The “i didn’t deserve what happened to me” person. The victim. -

Are people victims? Undoubtedly. BUT we have a choice to continue living as one or do the hard option...to not play that card anymore. To own our lives. To own our decisions and actions.

Cue “I can’t help myself” By Four Top (YouTube youngsters)

Swipe ⬅️⬅️⬅️
@theptboss 🤫🤫 This intimate moment caught by @davidmullis

“Stand by to get some” ⚒⚒⚒
(Anyone know where that quote is from? Don’t spoil it @jpdinnell )

About 4 years difference.
Photo on the left, hopeless alcoholic. In and out of jails, rehabs and psych wards for the previous 8 years. Recently hospitalized for suicide attempt. Didn’t want to be alive. Too cowardly to leave no questions with a suicide. I had passed rock bottom a long time ago and kept the peddle floored with reckless abandoned that it could only be classified as clinically insane. -

Picture on the right.
Still battle PTSD episodes but fight instead of coward into the bottom of a bottle. Proud of the progress I’ve made but also feel like I haven’t done a damn thing. Continually working on my “internal dialogue.” That dialogue has been engrained over years and takes diligent work to change. Grateful for life, even the dark times. -

I hear people say “I’m going to work on myself for awhile.” Intrigued by this, I ask what they’re actually doing differently. Often it’s nothing. They think being out of a relationship for a little bit or whatever the case may be is “working on themselves,” often to have behavior repeated because there’s been no actual work done. It’s the same thing as someone getting on a fad diet or highly restrictive diet. Sure, they initially loose weight but, without fail, always gain that weight back because they weren’t willing to put in the work for long term, sustainable lifestyle. -

Here’s some things that have helped me change thought patterns, personal beliefs and behaviors; * Write down your character “flaws” or “shortcomings.” Next to those, write how it impacts your life (relationships, self-esteem, ambitions). List these in order from most problematic to least. Start working on one at a time, recognizing when these behaviors come up and changing them and/or making amends.
* Write a daily gratitude list. 5 things you’re grateful for. It can be as simple as clean water to drink.
* Look up cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It’s what most therapy and/or “self help” gurus preach. Cliff notes, it’s about recognizing thoughts that are destructive and changing that into something constructive or challenging that thought. * Meditate. Don’t give me this shit “i tried once and I’m terrible.” It’s a practice.


Do i look cool or nah? Nah? Alright, cool.

Everyday is a great day to wake up in America where we experience freedoms that millions around the world can only dream of. If you don’t think this is the greatest nation on earth, go wash your eyes out with bleach and head bang your head into the countertop like you’re a metal concert.
Rock on 🤘🏼 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

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