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joepera joepera

547 posts   4731 followers   602 followings

Joe Pera  A new tomato every day

http://www.joepera.com/

It's my last show before I head to Milwaukee for 2 1/2 months tomorrow. Long story but please don't rob my apartment and please come to the show tonight. Don't worry Dan is going to keep the show going and probably even make it better.

Inside a Boston Market

Wished as hard as I could and it worked. I grew one shaped like a miniature pumpkin.

I don't trust him

@danjoecharlesshow is tonight at 8:30 and features @marknormand (conan) , @jacnov (comedy central half hour) @wesselschmidt , @devinisaboysname , and if my dreams come true, Miss Tomato. 79 Richardson Street, free

#TFW they write your full nickname on your 56th birthday cake and it sinks in that this is the person you've become. It's fun when said aloud but on a cake? Jesus. 56 years and this is what I'm known for? What do I gotta do to go back to just "Jack"? Regular, old "Jack"? I know- instead of blowing out the candles, I will flip out and yell at my friends. I'll get new friends. I would divorce my wife too but I don't have a drivers license.

Too far

Tonight at 8:30pm, there's another very good lineup at @danjoecharlesshow : Emily Heller (Conan), Anthony DeVito, Shane Torres, James Austin Johnson, and Allison Zeidman. 79 Richardson St, Brooklyn

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