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jm.phx jm.phx

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Do You Know Me? 🌹  J. Marie Phoenix. Responds to: Mama, Jessie, Rose Marie & other lovely things πŸ–€ Self-Employed Single Mama, Survivin' in the Middle West πŸ¦‹XO

http://soundcloud.com/ramblin-rose-2

While it may be summer's end, we will resist! 🌻Long live #summertime. Photo by @prinxeky πŸ–€#resistwinter #sunflowers #mamasboy #mamabear #familyphotography #kansas #lfk #equinox #countryfolk

Make love to bad vibes !! (*Language not suitable for some) do I always sound drunk when I talk? πŸ˜ΈπŸ–€πŸŒΊπŸ˜‚πŸŒΉπŸ™„πŸ‘„πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ’ƒ #gratitude #fuckbadvibes #fuckem #fatigue #allgood #movingon #survivor #rollingstone #ramblinrose #attitudeadjustment #thursday #lastdayofsummer

*that feeling when you just broke up with your boyfriend and he had a @dead_cross_official ticket for you. πŸ’©Happy Wednesday! ++++++++++++++
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜±πŸ™„πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ‘Ή photo by: @ohsnaphotokansas #lfk #fakeittilyoumakeit #humpday #singleaf #summerbummer #boudoirphotography #summertimesadness #purplehair #allgood #toughasnails #deadcross

Pink #canna. 🌸
I have been so busy these last couple of years, trying to make ends meet and nurturing my babe, that I finally let go of my rose obsession and my "American gardener" dreams. Letting go of that need to control has been educational and freeing to say the least. My roses are barely alive now because of my neglect and improper growing conditions, but all other areas of my life are doing much better. I've been trying to accept more ease into my world, so when I saw this canna shoot coming up beside my house, I thought "hey! That thing is just growing all by itself..let's see what it does/is!" So I dug up the tiny shoot and put it in one of the sunny spots in the backyard. It kept growing and growing and now, it has flowers! Nothing compares to a rose, but this beauty is pretty spectacular and low maintenance...like the life I am now creating. Also, it makes me feel as though Kansas is turning tropical and with the way our winters have been, we may very well be on our way as long as the rains keep coming. πŸŒ¦πŸ™πŸΌ 🌺#cannalily #pink #ease #peace #growingpains #backyardbliss #lfk #tropical #edible #newmoon

Homebound again today with a sick little fever bear. It's awkward to feel grateful for this situation but now that he's a growing busy boy, it's the only time we lay in each other's arms and do nothing. πŸ˜žπŸ’œ #mamasboy #stillness #growinguptoofast

Just keep swimming... 🐬 #survivors #sunlight #thegoodfight

The times I doubt myself the most are in situations that have been created by others who seek to control me. Over the last few years, I have been repeatedly berated, accused, threatened and dragged down in attempts to make me appear unfit as a mother. I keep Noah's work hanging around the house to remind me of who I truly am. I AM and HAVE ALWAYS BEEN a good mother. My son is a reflection of that. He is sweet, happy, compassionate and wise. He wishes to be stronger and bigger than me one day, so he can keep me safe and protect me the way I do for him. It melts my heart. All these years of insecurity caused by others have been a waste. I wish I had known sooner just how strong I really am. πŸ’œ I wish peace to those who have continuously harassed me over the years. Who have repeatedly threatened me with lawyers. Who have made continuous strides to break my spirit. Who have kept me in fear of losing my son because I am poor and can't buy good defense..because in this world, money always trumps ethics and truth. I wish for people to educate themselves about survivors of rape and assault, to better understand the pain of others. I wish for people to become listeners, instead of telling others what to do or say or feel. I wish for a world where survivors aren't continuously silenced in order to protect abusers. ***I am a good mother. I am strong and I am stable. I am no longer afraid of you. πŸ”₯ β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’
#singlemom #survivor #endabuse #endrape #protectchildren #protectwomen

I spy a sweet lil sunflower 🌻🀠🌻 do you? πŸ“Έ: @prinxeky Thanks for all the love and support, everyone. You guys are the best and really know how to keep a gal elevated. My gratitude runs deep and every forward step would not be possible without you. πŸ™πŸΌ #sunflower #kansaslife #blackandwhite #lfk #countrygirl #gratitude #phoenixrising

Documented: This was me this afternoon, after being gaslighted and victim shamed by my son's father. This is what it looks like when people tell you that you're crazy. When people don't believe you after you tell them you have been kidnapped, assaulted and raped. I didn't speak out when I was 6 years old because I was tortured and my life threatened. I kept silent for 20 years, blocking out the memories until I could barely understand them. I began binge drinking at age 14 and started into other drugs after I left home...But the pain never leaves. After I left home at 18, I started questioning my terrible dreams and flashbacks. I wanted to understand them and why I was having them. I dedicated myself to natural healing in my mid 20's and slowly, it began to unravel before me. I still dealt with bouts of drug and alcohol abuse during this time as the pieces were too much and The truth, when it comes, hits you like a fright train. Please make sure you have a support network if you are looking to unlock trauma. I was ill prepared for what I was asking to receive. It made me suicidal. In 2010, thanks to frequent and intense massage, yoga and reiki, I had a full memory recall of what had been done to my body, mind and spirit and each time I share, and am received by those who love me, my heart feels stronger and my chest feels deeper. Like I can almost breathe all the way in. I was reminded again today of why I have so often alienated myself from my hometown, my family, and people I used to love. It's far easier to run away then to stay with people that don't listen or constantly be around streets and houses and playgrounds and parking lots that remind you of terror. I have more than one story and there is more than one rapist, but I start with the first, because he is the one who stole my voice all those years ago. I reach out to a safe circle, and have received so much strength, love and words of encouragement from so many. You help me live stronger and better. Thank you πŸ™πŸΌ please believe victims and help turn them into survivors. #endrape #endmysogyny #destroythepatriarchy #survivor #ptsd #protectwomen #protectchildren #nofilter #war #endhumantrafficking

Snuggle time / refuge away from boys πŸ’œ my niece, Sorsza πŸ’ƒπŸ‘―πŸ€³ #selfietime #girlsruletheworld #fridaynight #backyardbliss #lfk #blondies #auntiejess

Shoutout to @prinxeky for taking family photos of me and the bean! Photo by Noah πŸ’œ (PSA: if you see people defacing sunflowers by putting their initials in them or crap like "KU", say something. 😭Humans are the worst! They destroy everything.) #sunflowers #kansas #friendsforlyfe #respectnature #sunset #artistandmuse

It's that time of year in #lfk! Sunflower season 🀠🌻😍 #sunflowers #sunshineboy #lilcowboy #mamasboy

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