jenamalone

“ if grief can be a doorway to love , then let us all weep for the world we are breaking apart so we can love it back to wholeness again “ #robinwallkimmerer #braidingsweetgrass

(personal prayer// don’t take this personal)
This year has been the hardest/ most important of my life
Leaving california ,my friends and my family to seek a new life of balance &sustainability for me and my son
Navigating the ever changing waters of being a single mother in a way that feels authentic to me
Learning how to create space for myself as a woman and artist
Starting to put one foot back in the door of picking up where I left my work and passions pre pregnancy
Buying a tiny house and starting a life in a place where I didn’t know a soul
Healing and tending my relationship with my mother
Healing and tending my relationship with my ex partner and building the light we want to exude for our son
Rediscovering my sexuality after having a child
Falling deeply in love with a man whom spoke of marriage and his deep love for my son only to be completely discarded by him almost overnight ( that was a rough one )
Started smoking cigarettes again ( the worst addiction I’ve ever known)
Finally completely quitting them ( almost two weeks strong now! accepting light and love and all forms of support)
Discovering I have an auto immune disease with no cure ( psoriasis)
Just battling and loving and learning and giving and feeling so empty only to wake with my heart so full again and again.

My work this year has been learning to be open to my own suffering. Overcoming my fear of the mess pain causes. Looking into the lions mouth and realizing that it’s actually the truest path towards my higher self. Pain is the fast track towards human evolution if you can find the courage to accept it. I’m still learning this/allowing this muscle to flourish. I wake every day to the light of my beautiful son and in the next moment hear stories of the earth burning and people deeply hurting and toxic old paradigms still having a strong hold on the human heart. It feels like too much sometimes. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed by your inability to change anything in this world. Just the ability to change your own human impulses seems wildly hard most days. I’ve decided to not be silent in this journey of learning to lasso my fear and embrace this evolution. Staying open to what comes

I have more to learn from the tide than from telling time. ————

The practice of using a camera allows me to constantly be considering what is holy and what is in front of me. Regardless of how time dresses my experience in loss or gain. The flesh of the matter , the naked truth will always remain. And I think this is what pushes me to use a camera , or my words or my body to dance light/ meaning into the moment. To help me see what is holy and what is really there in front of me. I’m glad I can share these things but in reality it’s a deeply personal practice of trying to be present. Not just to my human body or it’s limited experience here but present to my own divinity and grace. So I guess thank you for being part of my practice and witness to my journey thus far.

The tide

A natural conversation

Between us
Filled with crescendos

Tongue flicks

And a thousand

Restrung

Broken hearts.

Honey , this is heaven.

It’s my birthday and I can be reborn if I wanna.

// our creation story is simple. And I like it that way// ——- Somewhere in all that dirt
Is you and I
Crawling out of the earth
Looking towards the sky

I’ve never felt more at home. Side of the road. With the ones who lift your heart up like it was their own.

Speak softly into this space. Choose words with intent and grace. This digital translation doesn’t sing as sweetly as your breath near my face.

It’s pretty easy to know me. Just take off your shoes and sit on the floor with me. Or dance with me with your eyes closed. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.

When I am weak from the bleakness that surrounds , I always fall back on the warm bed of poetry to help lift me back into the dance of being truly seen and heard. This poem is from the human fire #adriennerich #iwantawholenewwayofbeinginthisworld #guncontrolandmentalhealth #youcantseparatethetwo #nooneisabovethelaw #fuckingscoundrals