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Jason Ritter  Official Biographer of the Wörning Family

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Sometimes during lunch, when Allan is feeling particularly overwhelmed by the social pressures of high school, he'll excuse himself from his group of friends, go lay on the lawn, close his eyes, and pretend to sleep. This is reconnaissance for him; having removed himself from the game, he listens carefully to his peers during his nap, internally documenting how they're all faring. Ooooh, Jerry went for a joke that didn't go well. But his best friend Ted saved him by tacking on a new ending. This has strengthened their bond, Allan thinks. He makes the social calculation that saving a friend from twisting in the wind after a badly timed joke gains you more friendship points than the few you may get by throwing them under the bus for a couple of "cool" points. He often wonders if others think like this about friendship, or if he's some kind of weird human robot. The fact that he's unsettled by that thought is strangely comforting, as robots probably don't spend much time being unsettled, he reasons. His friends never tell Allan that his eyes don't look as closed as he thinks they do, or that only cartoon characters snore like that (2011)

It's Valentines, and all day Allan has been working up the courage to ask his classmate if she wants to see a movie with him. He can feel his hands shaking, and he knows his voice will probably catch, but he persists through his anxiety and asks her. The way she looks sort of surprised and says, "You mean, tonight?" is confirmation of Allan's worst nightmare, and he immediately begins to fumblingly backpedal, including the lie that "he forgot what day it was" and that "it would probably be weird" and "maybe some other time." He retreats and is doused with shame and self-loathing. It's here that he discovers there's a physical component to this kind of pain. Years later, he'll reconnect with her, and jokingly ask her if she remembers this horribly awkward moment they shared. She doesn't, but says she totally would have seen a movie with him (2011)

Gary's first and only performance of his experimental puppet show "Hello, I Am Gary's Hand & This Is Gary's Other Hand" does not go over well. Some claim there simply was no story, while others point out the show's complete absence of puppets as an odd creative choice for a puppet show. Gary maintains afterwards that his hands were meant to be naked to make a point, and if people have a problem with hand nudity, that's on them, he's glad they walked out. Despite keeping a brave face amongst friends, he is heartbroken and embarrassed to admit how much he believed in it. If only they had stayed for the third act, they would have understood, he thinks. That's where it all really comes together. Gary's Hand and Gary's Other Hand meet Gary himself (pictured), and are forced to reckon with their undeniable interconnectedness, despite arguing bitterly with each other for the first two acts. Wanda is one of five people who sit through it in its entirety, fascinated by this person's commitment to something so strange (1992)

Gary still can't seem to remember who came in first when they all played fantasy football last season... Oh, that's right, HE CAN. Just let him have this, Dave. (2016)

Even in the middle of a great party, surrounded by friends and loved ones, Allan will suddenly and without warning feel himself disappearing. Some internal switch gets flipped, and all he can think about is how embarrassing it would be if someone looked down and saw him just hovering there, drink in hand, carrying on a conversation. No one ever looks down, of course. He swallows his fear and hopes the feeling won't overwhelm him and make him disappear completely. The moment passes, and he is whole again, with no one the wiser. His extreme discomfort and self-awareness at these moments keeps him from noticing that every party is filled with awkward floating human torsos trying not to disappear (2016)

DUUUUUDE WTF PULL OVER RIGHT NOW I'M GETTING OUT YOU ARE THE WORST DRIVER (2016)

Whoa, dude, careful, please pay attention to the road, Allan (2016)

Zzzzzzzz (2016)

Any minute now. Could literally be any minute. (2015)

Any minute now, Allan is going to get a call or a text, and he's going to be invited last minute to the New Year's Eve party of his dreams. This year's going to start out exactly the way he foresees (2015)

Gary, overworked and on little sleep, is shocked at the horrific fantasy that leaps into his mind while he takes a drink of water. He reassures himself that no one can see inside his mind, but hopes if anyone could see his thoughts that they would understand it was more about getting out of work and not at all about anyone getting hurt. And because he's just really, really tired. Walking back to his desk, he wonders to whom he just felt the compulsive need to defend and justify his thoughts, but he never questions the necessity to do so. (2015)

Two weeks after Randy's wife Laura's funeral, Gary takes him to an outdoor cafe. Caring for Laura had been Randy's main focus for the last two years, and the last three months of her illness had been particularly brutal for the family. Gary knows there's really nothing he can say to make his oldest friend's pain go away, and they often fall into silences. Randy is simply grateful for Gary's presence, which is enough. (2012)

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