jamiesbestie jamiesbestie

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jamiesbestie 

when someone feels the moistened wax in my ear and compliments it

When a crunchy salamander slithers down your esophagus while you’re sleeping

when your earlobe not be cookin the wax well

When someone tells you your pores look crispy so you go home and use a paintbrush to fill them with canned milk

when someone takes the cheese and eats it when you were about to stick in your bootyhole to make buttcheese

When a crunchy toenail gets stuck in the air vent and you can smell it all night

when you store too much buttcheese and it doesn’t cook as good as it should

When you see a ripened artichoke fall down 18 flights of stairs and into a jug of stiff mayonnaise

when someone grasps my firm 3 inch thicc toenails but doesn’t smell my moistened armpits

When you wake up and spit out a fish corpse and realize it’s from that dinner you ate 3 years ago

when someone feels your moistened armpit but doesn’t feel the moistened ear wax in your earlobe

When you hear someone compliment the moistness of your armpit but they don’t mention the firmness of your toenails

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