iwillnotlosethisbattle iwillnotlosethisbattle

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  Diagnosed with anorexia binge/purge subtype. Day patient in an eating disorder treatment program. Scared of change, willing to live.

Breakfast. I woke up super late because I took my meds to sleep yesterday because I was very agitated, so lunch will be in an hour πŸ˜žπŸ˜”#edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery

I am SO mad and anxious. I spent this month on vacation putting effirt to be "okay" enough to be back to the hospital for the month before university starts again but my doctor just told me there will not be any beds available all month and now I wish I had spent this month losing weight πŸ˜“ I don't know what to do I will have to try find a place to stay for a month close to the hospital because if I go back home I know I will relapse this month has be hard enough I need the hospital now so I can be strong enough for university I am so nervous :(

I had a snack today (!!!!!!!!), I had fresh xheese with a slice of white bread with peanut butter... And now I am having a bigger dinner than usual 😞 Two (!!!!) slices of white (!!!!) bread, chicken slices, pork back I think?, two (!!!!) eggs and white asparagus...😟😟😟😟 I feel like I am eating way too much 😒#edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery

Lunch is soup with spaghettis ( I honestly don't think I will be able to eat this much spaghetti:((((), white anchovies and broccoli:( #edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery

My mum really wanted me to eat more so I am having a slice of bread (!!!!!!!!!!!) With tuekey. I hope this does not trigger a reactive eating episode from so much restricting...:( #edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery

Bigger dinner than usual today 😞 salad with avocado (!!!!), white fish, a slice of pizza (!!!!) and a piece of baguette (!!!!). Might eat something after idk #edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery

Snack (which I have been avoiding as much as I can (!!!!!!!)) is fresh cheese and a Pure Protein Greek yogurt and strawberry bar πŸ˜”πŸŒΌ#edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery

Lunch was salad, seasoned chicken (!!!!!!), an unpictured chicken leg and potato and egg tortilla (which was made with so much oil:(). I feel so guilty about this meal and my dad does not stop saying I seriously need to eat my 3000 calories this week because it is crucial for me to follow the plan this week before I come back to Edmonton so I can be accepted again at the hospital... I am so scared:( #edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery

Breakfast 🌼 #edrecovery #fearfood #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #fuckanorexia #anawho #edsoldier #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #fuckana #fuckmia #fucked #realcovery it was good but once again this amount of bread made me feel very guilty... I was hungry though and wanted another one but I was scared of how much I drank yesterday, even though I was so drunk I puked :/

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