Blue light spills like darkness into the wide open window of my room. I'm sitting on my bed hearing crickets emerge as the sun plunges behind the city I'm swimming in. I'm not used to concrete being so reachable, but the parks here- there's 2 within a mile- the lakes, the wide boulevards here remind me of Brooklyn. The people: the walking, running, worrying, laughing, busying people. So much energy. And yet now, so much quietude on the 2nd floor looking down below.
2017 has begun. I know that I know... that I have already forgotten in the span of a day what I wanted to focus on this year.
Our thoughts roll into our minds at a dizzying pace and here is our truth: We think things - more often than not - that aren't true.
I've spent a great deal of time muling over this question the last year because the more I sit with my thoughts, the more I see how crazy they are. Have you ever actually sat long enough in silence, complete quietude, to write down what's rolling through that pretty pink flesh? It's fuckin scary.
At any given time... I'm no one.
I can't take pictures as good as __________.
I can't believe how many times I've forgotten ________. I'm shit.
Wow... how long has that looked like THAT? _
Wish I could be ____ as good as ______. _
Why can't I ____________?
I should have done ________ today._
Ugh. It feels self-conscious for me to write these things out even now but it's true. We are fresh souls in this aging flesh and every one of us has a scrolling feed. (It only takes one, ONE person to mention something negative about us in our lifetime to hear that line for the rest of our beautiful lives.) Somehow that just doesn't seem fair, does it.
Fences, my father said.
We are to build fences around the things in our lives we treasure. It's parallel to the reason why I got my anchor tattoo on my ring finger. We can either look at relationships as keeping us from doing the things we want, OR anchoring us to all that is good to not be eaten alive by the storms. [The folllowing is an excerpt from my newsletter. If you'd like to receive it, leave your email below OR visit my website, click on "you+me" ]