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imlauramiller imlauramiller

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Laura Miller  Author of RAW VEGAN NOT GROSS. videos on recipes and mental health here:

http://youtube.com/rawvegannotgross

sneak peek of a little video we shot yesterday with @vanessamona for @mothermag where I talked about depression and motherhood. Speaking of which, I want to thank everyone who commented, messaged, and emailed me after my last post. Depression is so often misunderstood and patronized as a weakness of character or strength. I was terrified to share about my experience, but was met with so much more kindness than I expected. Thank you thank you thank you.

When I found out I was pregnant I cried, not out of happiness but out of terror, because I was already 2 months into the scariest depression of my life and knew I wasn't healthy enough to deal with the physical and emotional challenges of a pregnancy, much less becoming a mother. I've dealt with depression for 20+ years and am very familiar with enduring the ups and downs of life, but this was a new horrifying depth. I spent months not wanting to be alive. I haven't been able to work, and I am embarrassed about that. I have to remind myself that my accomplishments over the past 15 months are that I grew this healthy girl and that I survived. I'm now back on an antidepressant medication that saved my life once before. I don't like being on it because my ego makes me feel bad about it, and because people that don't understand think it's a cheap and easy way out. It's not. Some of us out here have brains that can't be cured from green juice and exercise and therapy, and that's ok. My warrior of a husband wrote a song about fighting through this together and it's called Joan of Arc if you want to Spotify/google it. I love him and I love Mae. We made it out the other side and I'm going to wear color and be funny again I promise.

mini wood piece for a mini person. thanks to our friend @aleksandrazee!

👨‍👨‍👧

Meet Mae! one week old!

Proud of how hard he works and how much he cares about music and people every single day, but today I stuffed my extra puffy bod into a dress to celebrate it FOR REAL because, holy crap, nominated for Producer of the Year! #GRAMMYs #iwasnominatedformostswollenfeet🥇#rachelleblancomakeup

Hi. You might've noticed I've been off the grid for a good few months. It's a bit too much to get into here, but for now I'll just say that a series of circumstances aligned all at once to fully knock me on my ass and into the scariest depression of my life.. while also being pregnant. I'm not fully out of it yet, but the worst is over for now. @wallpaper has walked through every step of this with me with an impossible level of patience and compassion, reminding me that I was stronger and braver than I felt. Somehow we are coming out of this with an even bigger love than before.

Laura Junior shows up in approximately six weeks and as far as we can tell is healthy and bouncy and happy as hell. Hopefully she'll get @wallpaper's beautifully balanced brain chemistry, but even if she does get mine, she is going to have one fiercely loving team supporting her.

finally got my hands on @nutritionstripped's beautiful new cookbook and made a batch of her salted caramel brownies 👅👅👅#nutritionstripped #nscookbook

whoaaa woke up to news that my husband @wallpaper was nominated for Grammy Producer of the Year. so proud of his work and brain and heart.

Hi, I'm alive! Been pushing through some very tough stuff for the past 7 months, and because life and timing are insane, also found out @wallpaper I are having a baby 5 months ago. So if you've noticed I've been MIA it's because I'm just over here quietly getting my butt kicked and doing a whole lot of... growing.

Eek! RVNG made it into the Opening Round of 2016 #GoodreadsChoice Cookbook Awards - link in bio if you wanna vote 😁

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