4 years. it’s been 4 years since I made the decision to leave my home in Oahu to pursue a career out here.
Over the last 4 years, my life has been crazy. With so many drastic changes continually being made to become a better version of myself, I could say at times it was hard to keep up.
I spent a lot of nights during the first 2 years of my life here in California, alone, sad, crying, confused & angry. I struggled constantly to find my place, fought with myself internally on whether I should give up & move back to Hawaii where life seemed easier than anything I had been experiencing here. So many times, I wanted to give up. But halfway into my time here that all changed. After cutting off a toxic ex from my life, I started to slowly feel like myself again.
Sure there were still some tear filled, lonely nights, but they were lessening. At the right time too. I was beginning to make friends, opening up to people I had been shutting out because I didn’t want to let anyone else into my life to see the chaotic mess I was in mentally or emotionally. But then I met @kandi_q, my best friend, who ultimately changed my life forever.
At the time we both were dealing with similar situations & somehow found a way to connect which brought us even closer together & eventually, I met my two other best friends @moodiemusique & @danhacakes. Without those three incredible humans I honestly don’t know who I would have turned into. They accepted my weirdness & greeted me with their equally weird personalities from the start. They accepted me for who I was and supported me. And in the 2/3 years that I’ve known them my life has changed and grown so much to where I am now. To be in a healthy relationship, to have a strong relationship with my parents, to have support through so many channels of my life, to be doing the work that I am currently doing. It is all such a dream. To finally be at my 4 year Mark has been such a shock this last week that truly left me with a bunch of mixed feelings. I am relieved, above all else, for how far I’ve come. So here’s to 4 years, I finally made it. I did it. I’m still going strong, and I won’t ever stop fighting for my dreams.