Relationships have always been my greatest teachers...truthfully if I wasn't running away from them, I was running into them... 🏃🏽♀️💨 My #RelationshipGoals were always - deep, connected, open, supported, loving, protected, fun, sexually compatible, friendship, togetherness...and more... I had to go deep to recognise and then release old patterns I had been repeating throughout my life - patterns from my parents, my childhood, my dad passing away, my previous relationships, and really allow that old version of me to die away. To allow space for something unexpected and different to show up. Something more meaningful than I have ever experienced in my life.
I pushed this relationship away at first because I felt like I wasn't ready for this level of intimacy, it didn't feel familiar or like anything I had experienced before. I wanted to run back to my old self to feel "in control". Then I realised this was God/Spirit/The Universe showing me the opportunity to completely break my relationship pattern. Surrendering into this love and allowing myself to experience this level of intimacy has opened me up to what I never thought was possible for me.
Relationships are still my biggest teacher, and I am still learning every single day how to navigate, how to love deeper, communicate more openly, and how to not hide or run backwards, and learn to speak the same language. I believe this love is here for everyone - when you commit to loving yourself in the way you desire.
What I have learned this year from relationships is this: if you want a deeper love, love yourself deeper. If you want more intimate relationships, get to know yourself more intimately. If you desire a more honest, open relationship, get more honest and open with yourself. If you desire more passionate love, explore and satisfy your own sexual energy more, etc this applies to all areas. We attract what we already are.
Open your heart again, instead of trying to stay in control so as not to get hurt. This will feel so vulnerable, but will be so worth it. I feel blessed to be on this learning journey with a man so willing to go deep within himself. What a wild adventure 'relationship' is. ❤️