"My therapist has been pushing me to do more art ever since I've known her really. I never understood why because all she ever saw were depressing sketches and art in my recovery journals. I used to think she was joking or being silly but she kept pushing it. It made me feel uncomfortable because I hadn't done any art "properly" forever and because things have been so bad I just didn't see the point. But part of me knows I've loved art (and writing) since as far back as I can remember.
They're the only two things that have been a constant for me when all my other interests or passions disappeared. I never stopped writing but I did stop doing art for a lot of reasons. About a month ago my therapist asked me to do a painting over the weekend of something calming, and as usual when it's brought up I didn't agree or even respond. Then she asked me to just do it for her, please, and so I did. And it was amazing! (the process not the painting lol) I remember her face when I showed her it as she just stared at it for ages. Ever since then she's asked me to do more, to show her more. I haven't been able to because my head has been in a dark space and I always think nothing beautiful can come out of that.
Then last week when I was flicking through my journal she asked if she spotted a drawing, I said no, because it was just a scribble of how I had felt that day. She said, "I've always thought your art was beautiful, no matter the subject." And for some reason that just lifted a lot for me. So I started a new little sketchbook purely for random sketches and art stuff. Because I remembered it doesn't have to be good or happy or pretty if you enjoy it, you're still creating something. 💗 So these were the first two little pages I did one evening recently. I enjoyed it! It is the only time all week that I felt not-scared enough to enjoy something for an hour or so. Do what brings you joy and don't let anything or anyone stop you."
- By @emmaroselight
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