today looked a whole lot like despair and defeat until some of my people pulled me out of my funk (literally just by being with me. no advice, no venting, just hangin). i finally got out of bed at 1 and, you know, i actually didn’t feel guilty for taking that long to get moving today.
winter is rough. the holidays are rough. we’re all feeling it in our own ways. i think that, as someone who grew up as a total people-pleaser, i’m finally learning that taking care of myself is a *good* thing..even if it means i skip my work christmas party, turn off my phone, and watch a movie with my roomie instead. even if it means that i don’t spend money i genuinely don’t have on things my people don’t reaaally need. even if it means that i say no to plans because i need to recharge.
it’s so easy to get caught up in shame over the shoulds and the obligations and, honestly, all the things i project others to expect from me..but the real beauty comes when i show up as myself. and i can’t show up as myself unless i’ve taken time to be with myself. for so many years i’ve scheduled things and made plans in advance and operated on a deficit of social energy and projected expectations and i’m really finally seeing that for what it is.
and i guess i’m just sharing this in case any of that resonates with you too. (is anyone else learning this? i’d genuinely love to hear your hearts on this stuff.)
it’s okay to be exactly where you are, even if it doesn’t feel okay. hug yourself tight and be gentle with you, okay?
and go get you a @bearceramics mug tomorrow at union market because it’s her last show of the year and she’s really just the best ♥️