Today the Hello Cedar family suffered a devastating loss. Our sweet rainbow boy is gone. I don't even have words to explain the immense hole in our hearts right now. This morning I went into his room just after 9:40 am to check on him. He was face down and unresponsive in his crib. I yanked him upright and I screamed for Justin. He grabbed him and held him while we both screamed for what felt like an eternity. Our neighbors heard us and came in to help administer CPR while Justin called 911. I called my mother and Kailynn sobbing asking them to come. By the time paramedics arrived it had been 20 minutes since we found him. They tried for about a half hour to revive him but were unsuccessful. One of the paramedics sat down on the floor with us to tell us there was nothing they could do, he was gone. I asked to hold him and sat there with him wrapped in his name blanket for hours while people filtered in and out. Detectives had to get statements, chaplains had to explain what happens "after", paramedics didn't want to leave, most of them in tears as well. He looked like he was sleeping, but he didn't feel like him anymore. If you've ever lost a child you understand that there's an unimaginable guilt you feel...nothing can bring them back, and yet you still try and find all of the ways you could have prevented it. Sloan was the happiest, smiliest baby, he lit up everyone's lives who knew him and we were so blessed by his short life. Our world is forever changed.
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