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Heidi Darwish  for a few meal ideas & recipes: visit hashtag #heidiskaleidoscopekitchen


I had to do it: turning my kids into spooky creatures has been the most editing fun I've had in awhile. (you can do it too at picmonkey.com)
I'm not trying to rush things but I have my box of Christmas decs on stand by and I've almost talked myself into a Merry and Jolly Creeptastic holiday decorating theme for the month of October going forward. #kidding

#swipeleft *Ivy designed the witch pic of herself-- I think she did such a good job๐ŸŽฏ

Today, I had a morning--the kind that starts with chaos and threatens to color the whole day. I was driving my youngest to kinder when I received the call, "Mom, today is my field trip-- you signed up to chaperone. You're coming, right? You don't have to but it will be fun." I checked my iPhone calendar-- it was littered with appointments & reminders of things to do and places to go. There were seven items to do but not one said, "8:00AM: Chaperone Beckham's field trip." My stomach hurt.
Then, as if my oldest had a sensor attached to her head, my phone beeped signaling another call, "Mom, you never filled out my picture order form. I need it now and it's not where you said it was!" I was trying to help that situation along while trying to remember where I placed the form and did I write the check? Actually, had I ordered more checks? Did I sign Ivy's reading log, walk the dog, turn the thermostat down, brush my teeth...? Ivy started making noise from the backseat because kids have superpowers. I am a "sooooo mean, mommy," because I (also) failed to set up a play date for after school that she claims was promised (wasn't). It was 7:45AM and I was near tears. I hadn't had my coffee yet.
My phone started ringing again-- more questions, more, "MOM!" My head started pounding and I started sweating. Let it begin-- the mom guilt. Often, the winning emotion of motherhood.
It can happen anytime but it usually happens just when you THINK you have your shit together. In an instant though, you will learn that in fact, you do not have your shit together. And, this is where it can get hairy, because once you've messed up a few things, you start making things up that you could be doing better. It's silly, but we're talented that way. ๐Ÿ™ƒ
After I decided to forgive myself and hunt down some coffee and chat with a sweet friend, she told me she felt the same way last night, it was done and the day was LOVELY again.
I cancelled things that could wait, I dropped off a completed form and check to school, and then drove north to meet my son and his class. I still don't have my shit together, but that's okay. I'll try again another day.

These two. Both growing up too quickly.
My almost thirteen year old is content to hideaway in her room--door locked, music blaring, add a little tween sass and we've got the makings of a John Hughes coming of age comedy.
Then there is Ivy, my little diva: she begs to wear lipstick, is always styling up her outfits and constantly on high alert for opportunities in which to create something... anything, but mostly anything with glitter.
Currently, we are making chocolate surprise eggs (yes, they have a kit for that @target). Both strong-minded and fierce in their own ways. Each loving, compassionate and caring. Both so different, yet so similar, but so very loved and treasured for just being who they are-- as they are.
God, I pray they always know their worth. I pray they never apologize for who they are and that they always maintain a strong sense of self. Also, I, as their mama, hope and pray to have the patience and sound guidance available to them at least half of the time-- more though if it's not too much to ask. Also, taking any kids to Target at any age is the most exhausting thing to ever do. "Mommy, can I please have...?" Love you both. It's time to eat nachos and cheer Michigan on. ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’›

I haven't known what to say because words seemed to fail me before but I wanted to share here that my whole heart is with the victims and their loved ones in the aftermath of the horrible events that took place in Vegas a few nights ago.
It's shocking and there is no sense to be made from such a senseless and cowardly act.
Florida is sending so much LOVE to Vegas and we are praying for peace to all those affected.
My family learned a couple days afterward, that a member of our family, my mom's first cousin, was one of the victims. Although, I never met this beautiful cousin, the tragedy that seemed to strike too closely already-an attack on innocent music lovers in a town my beloved grandfather loved, lived and spoke about for years, felt more real when I realized a family member had been taken. I let it marinate that this violence can happen to anybody--these 59 people are all of us.
My hope through this is that we continue to learn more about what we can do to help make sure these things don't happen. It's NOT NORMAL and we should use our feelings of disbelief, anger and sadness to propel action and hopefully CREATE change. We have the power to make this country safer for our children and our children's children. I truly believe this. I know it can feel hard and really uncomfortable to speak up against those who would rather you didn't question their meaning or their message-- these interactions can pop up anywhere...here on your social media platforms, in your home while hosting friends, in the car pickup line at school, the clerk at the grocery store. We must ask questions and be willing to learn about what is important to others BUT also to never back down from our beliefs. Never.
Empower yourself by not being afraid to say the wrong thing and also by giving others permission to say the wrong thing. We are human, we make mistakes; it's how we learn best.
Ask questions and challenge those around you. I'm hoping for all what I hope for myself and my children: love, hope, and the courage to speak up when things just don't feel right (in ANY given situation). ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’• ALSO, "Our differences cannot erase our shared humanity." -Meredith Walker

This sweet mama is due to give birth to her first baby. *She's waiting patiently little one, but come on out now. There are lots of people who want to meet you.
Libby, what a beautiful mama you are. โค๏ธ
SWIPE LEFT to see more.

It's fall and I'm completely head over heels in love with this season and all it has to offer, especially pumpkin butter, but last week while in Michigan it was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk, which may be why Beckham asked me if he could. Anyway, while grateful to escape hurricane Irma woes, I felt cheated of a true fall experience. Yes, I was hoping to cozy myself up in scarves and boots-- totally unrealistic.
We still loved our time away.
My boy cooling himself in a hose shower.
#gmctrucks #๐Ÿ˜

And they love one another again. Thank the good lord because their mama was ready to LOSE it!

We finally evacuated the aftermath of Hurricane Irma a couple of days ago. It was such a tough decision to leave our home during such an emotional time but I'm glad the kids get to experience a Michigan fall! I realized today, it's not fall yet;) This didn't stop the kids and I from indulging in some classic fall behaviors though: donuts and cider and duck feeding at one of our favorite cider mills today๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŒพ๐ŸŒผ

A little update:

I hate Irma.
It's so very hot over here and we are learning to survive with no power, but the a/c and lack of air flow has been the toughest to deal with at night.
A couple of positive though, even though we still hate Irma... More family time even if it's chainsawing fallen trees with daddy or adventuring through the damaged but still beautiful neighborhood.

We have learned to laugh a little more easily at things that go wrong since Irma.
We know we have some of the best neighbors aroundโค๏ธ I LOVE that we have spotty cell service. I read less news and log onto social media less. We can't watch tv, but I wouldn't mind watching a movie. Soon, I hope.
The kids are playing board games!

We get to grill bacon tonight since the store had some!
So much to be happy about. ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ I so appreciate this online community, too.

I think my cell service is running a little more consistently than it has been. I'm posting some photos I've taken from our neighborhood. Last night, I took a ride down our street to take some photos. It was hard not to become emotional seeing something so completely out of our control sweep through our home and forever change it. We feel so grateful that we are safe and my heart and mind keep wandering to those who did not fare as well and I keep wondering how we can help and as soon as we are up and running again, we will.
We are out of power and hot and trying to be innovative wherever possible to cook, clean (we have water๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ), feel comfortable. Honestly, last night around 2am I walked out my front door almost completely naked and walked to my car to sit in the air for twenty minutes-- I hoped nobody was outside but it didn't matter. I was suffocating in my house. Hey, its survival over here and it's pitch black out there anyway and it must be pretty bad if I've decided to strip and walk around in my birthday suit๐Ÿคฃ

We are safe! I can't respond to messages because I have spotty cell service and no power. We drove out of our community and I'm able to post for a bit.
I took this last night during the calm of the eye... we knew we had the other side of the eye wall to endure but we knew we had made it safely through the worst part of the storm.
We've seen a lot of damage and it's heartbreaking but most seem to feel grateful and happy and eager to help mend and repair our sweet community.
Thank you for all the love. I read every message and your words really helped. ๐Ÿ˜˜

I posted some video of the winds around the house during the hurricane yesterday. In my IG stories.

Took this yesterday just when the wind began to gain some strength.
Update while I can: we are safe and sound. We FEEL safe and sound. We just lost power but we have little battery operated lanterns to use. We are anxious for the storm to arrive if it is intent on doing so. I pray for our beautiful community to come out of this in the best way possible but however it concludes, we will rise, will help rebuild, restore and heal this place that is our homeโค๏ธ Going to make a sandwich and try to take a nap. Waiting for this thing has been exhausting. THANK YOU for the many messages, calls, texts. We, Floridians, are feeling the love and good wishes. ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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