My days are much more mundane than people realize. Instagram shows like, 5% of my life. I don't post about going to Costco or answering emails or bad days. On the flip side, I don't photograph myself listening to a friend or spending quality time with loved ones. I love creating art, and that's what I share - but that's not real life all of the time! .
I actually care what people think of me and criticism and being judged affects me deeply. I try to brush it off but I'm such a people pleaser so when I get a mean message or find out people in my area are assuming something wrong about me it cuts deep! I've always been a sensitive soul but it I'm trying to work on it.
I struggled with depression for 5+ years. It runs in my family and I had some health issues that made it worse. This probably seems strange because I'm actually a happy person! Depression is weird like that. For the first time in 5 years I've had the longest stretch of feeling amazing, and it's because of the health changes I made last fall.
I don't actually know what I'm doing with my life or even what I'm doing on here. I'm always changing my mind or shifting directions and I'm sure it looks all over the place! I'm always torn between posting what I've always posted, posting what I love, and posting in the new direction I'm headed (and if people will judge me for that too!). You might think it's silly to care about an app so much but when you literally pay the bills with it, it's hard not to care! Most days I have deleted the app off my phone because I don't want Instagram to take over my real, beautiful, mundane life.
Lastly, I have recently come to peace with a lot of who I am. I used to be so jealous of those who traveled all the time but I've instead felt extremely grateful to have roots and a community. To be married to the love of my life. To have family to visit and friends to just be with. What a huge blessing that is, and I wouldn't trade it for any amount of internet fame or travel.
Inspired by @kelseyy.fitness post to keeping it real. #LifeIsGoodie #hbgoodiepresets