*Super old self-portrait.
Today started off so well and went downhill oh so quickly.
The tricky thing about chronic illness is that flare ups can take you out before you even see them coming. I'm in pain 24/7, so I'm used to it but a bad flare up is like setting my whole body on fire.
And, very stupidly, I tried to push through. I didn't give up when I had to run and throw up midway through a meeting. I didn't give up when my hands started to go numb and my typing slowed down. I didn't give up when I threw up for the second time. I didn't give up when my vision started blurring. I only gave up after the third throw up because someone told me I should go home.
When you're sick all the time, you become a stubborn bastard. No one wants to be the sick one, the one who is always late in, or has to leave early for hospital appointments. So you just paste on a smile and pretend nothing is wrong, until you can't hold it any longer.
Usually I try to handle my sickness with positivity and as much grace as I can muster, but now I'm just fucking angry. I just didn't want to be the sick one today.