hannahshewanstevens hannahshewanstevens

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Hannah Shewan Stevens  Irregular blogger with an irregular immune and nervous system. Figuring out how to use my voice. Bare with me.. YAB @wearesruk Producer @barcroft_tv

Everything feels very intense right now. I want a reboot button for my nervous system please.
And I should take more dramatic self portraits.
#nervepain #fibromyalgia #scleroderma

*Super old self-portrait.
Today started off so well and went downhill oh so quickly.
The tricky thing about chronic illness is that flare ups can take you out before you even see them coming. I'm in pain 24/7, so I'm used to it but a bad flare up is like setting my whole body on fire.
And, very stupidly, I tried to push through. I didn't give up when I had to run and throw up midway through a meeting. I didn't give up when my hands started to go numb and my typing slowed down. I didn't give up when I threw up for the second time. I didn't give up when my vision started blurring. I only gave up after the third throw up because someone told me I should go home.
When you're sick all the time, you become a stubborn bastard. No one wants to be the sick one, the one who is always late in, or has to leave early for hospital appointments. So you just paste on a smile and pretend nothing is wrong, until you can't hold it any longer.
Usually I try to handle my sickness with positivity and as much grace as I can muster, but now I'm just fucking angry. I just didn't want to be the sick one today.

Every time I exert myself slightly more than usual, I know I'll be paying for it in pain and fatigue. A holiday is exactly the same, only more extreme.
Coming back from holiday left me more exhausted than I've been in years and that was with taking it super easy.
Thankfully, I prepared for that possibility and gave myself a full two days of recovery to recuperate. I spent 24 hours pretty much bedbound and couldn't think a single coherent thought. And today I was so nauseous I could barely move but it was all worth it.
Never let your physical limitations stop you from travelling. Adventures aren't just for the able-bodied, they are for whoever has the will to leave the front door.

Link in bio... #travel #disabledtravel #mobilityissues #disability #fibromyalgia #fibrowarrior #rome #citybreak #scleroderma #chronicfatigue #chronicpain #chronicillness

So much love for this crazy one who made Rome a happy whirlwind. πŸ’œ
Going on holiday can be a panic inducing experience for me because of a whole host of health issues, but she made everything run so smoothly.
She's always made a point of asking about my health issues so that she can be informed and support me in anyway she can. Before we even got on the plane she told me that I wasn't allowed to put on a brave face or keep my pain from her.
She calls me out on my bullshit when I try to push myself too hard and she reminds me to stop beating myself up when I get wound up.
And it helps that she makes me cackle like a mad woman. I couldn't have chosen a better person to travel with πŸ₯‚
New blog post about travelling with a disability - link in bio

#disabledtravel #travel #rome #chronicillness #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #fibromyalgia #scleroderma #sclerodermawarrior #fibrowarrior #disability

Snippet from a new blog post...
This week I ran away from humid London to burning hot Rome to fulfil a lifelong dream - to explore an ancient city I've been entranced by since I was a tiny nerd.
Now, as a fully-grown history nerd, I could finally run around the city eating obscene amounts of carbs and exploring shuttered streets and crumbling ruins.
But managing the rollercoaster ride of disability is a complex game, so when i travel I have to be ready for every eventuality...
(Had to get that dramatic walking away travel photo 😘)
Link in bio
#disability #chronicillness #chronicpain #scleroderma #sclerodermawarrior #fibromyalgia #fibrowarrior #travel #rome

My dreaming about gelato face 🍦 πŸ“Έ@gdd843

#photography

This is how I feel about flying to Rome in less than two hours.
I've been obsessed with the city since I first discovered mythology in primary school. I can't wait to go full ancient history nerd (maybe I'll put my degree to good use for once) and eat a diabolical amount of pizza, pasta and gelato. πŸ•πŸ•πŸ• #rome #photography #freedom #byebyeengland

Pinhead. πŸ’œ

#photography

Big hair don't care πŸ’β€β™€οΈ

Feeling extra soppy today. This one is the best support system I could ask for. He'll take a train in the middle of the night to take care of me, help me massage out the aches and pains and steady me whenever my legs decide to stop working properly.
Plus, he has really excellent hair.
#soppybastard

🀯

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