[ i’m going to be honest ]
the past two years have been draining.
a lot has happened
and recently it has all started to come up.
most of it being unmet expectations and broken promises.
since all of it has piled up, i have not allowed myself to fully feel.
to feel all the emotions that i should be feeling at a time like this.
i have believed that i don’t deserve to feel, but that is very false.
i have been told that i just need to get on with my life and grow up.
that is true,
but for the past two years, i have busied myself to the point of never catching a break.
don’t get me wrong, this is how i love to live my life.
i love having a packed schedule and being able to pour into so many people,
but to use it as an excuse not to let the Father in and heal you is wrong.
and i think i finally realized that because the past week has been nothing but rest and facing the emotions i did everything to avoid.
i have found myself doing nothing and being okay with it.
once again, today I found myself with an open afternoon and all i could get myself to do was sit here and enjoy the view, rest, and pray.
finally let God do what he’s been trying to do for so long.
you see my friends...
my heart hurts and that is okay.
but to run from getting help just because you don’t want to hurt anymore will only prolong the pain.
it is okay to have seasons of rest because that means God finally has your attention.
something he longs for daily.
this past week has been so difficult having old wounds reopened,
but it has been a breathe of fresh air finally allowing myself to feel again.
is there something that you’ve avoided healing from because it hurts too much.
i want to encourage you in this moment to stop and rest.
it may hurt for a little while,
but in the end the joy that you will be overflowed with is much better than bottling up everything and running.
all my love,